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Is the phrase "Once upon a time..."
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Monthly Writing Prompt
For this month's writing prompt write a scene using the following sentence to start;

The streets were deserted. Where was everyone? Where had they all gone?

Writing Tip
Our monthly writing tips are written by our very own TerishD. You can read more in Terish's Blog located in "The Abstractions" area of the forum.

Look Back

When not able to write ahead, it helps to look back. In my case I had written a paragraph ahead of the story. What I needed to do was add a section of exposition (talking) presenting some facts. In going back, I realized that I could insert a section where a 'tour' of the surroundings could be done. This allowed for character interaction, story development, and other things that enabled me to present the facts in an entertaining manner.

One should not face a writer's block with the mentality of bursting through it. I have found in my own experience that a writer's block is usually due to my mind indicating that it has a problem in 'channeling' the story. One reason might be a re-imagining of certain story points. Another reason however is that there is a problem in where you are at in the story, so you need to look back and find out the problem with the 'journey' that prevents the tale from advancing.

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 Outside - Pity the Blind Man

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Number of posts : 1287
Age : 58
Location : Ringgold, Louisiana
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Registration date : 2008-07-21

PostSubject: Outside - Pity the Blind Man   August 8th 2010, 8:16 am

Outside - Story Fourteen
Pity the Blind Man


[Side view of the Menlo Park with a distant star obviously closer than others. In the distance are a number of glowing points of light that can be made out to be flying straight lines as the conversation is heard.]

Castle: Hey, Clover, what were the odds of this system having life?

Clover: None. I donít know of anyone that channeled some entity from this star. Even the psychics never saw potential in this star.

Castle: Yet, here we are.

Diamond: Isnít it wonderful?

Felix: I guess somebody had to map this place, but why did it have to be us?

Diamond: Fate. We had luck on two systems. Couldnít have such luck on the third.

Indigo: I thought things were supposed to happen in threes.

Diamond: I guess that you have to count the man you got, Indigo. I know that I wonít get to keep Sandra, but I am glad for the company.

Indigo: I am not a lesbian, but IÖ

[Shot from inside Castleís boat. He is not just looking at monitors, but one hand flies around touching monitors while another reaches for a screwdriver and begins unscrewing a panel.]

Castle: Damn. I donít know if I can fix this out here.

Thor: Whatís your problem?

Castle: Dissipater.

Thor: You are not supposed to be using your thrusters. You should be good.

[Zoomed shot from a camera of the Menlo Park. One light obviously from a Kert field is stationary while a couple others are visible still moving in straight lines. One must assume that the stationary point of light is Castleís boat.]

Castle: No, you donít understand. The dissipater has the boards for star correlation. I might be flying a straight line, but I cannot prove a straight line. My readings are no longer viable.

Clover: You should have backup computing through your sensors, Castle.

Castle: We are doing a system scan. Any inexactness in the readings makes our readings inexact. I need to fix this.

Black Dove: Yes, you do. Come back Castle.

[Shot from inside Castleís boat. You see him suddenly jerked as he is busy checking the available components of his craft.]

Castle: DAMN! That is a problem.

Clover: That was your engine, Castle.

Castle: Yeah, my dissipater also regulates my regular fuel flow.

Thor: Why in the Hell did you do that?

Castle: Efficiency. A carburetor is a carburetor.

[Shot from another camera of the Menlo Park. Nothing special about this shot.]

Thor: You are not supposed to be flying machines that are efficient. You are supposed to be flying machines that are dependable.

Castle: It is dependable, because it is an easy part to fix. The problem is that I have been looking over my parts concerning updating Diamondís boat. I thus donít have my spare with me.

Black Dove: Okay, Castle. Do you need me to rush you the part?

Castle: The faster the better, but my life support is fine.

Thor: You mean that you did not route your breathing gases through the dissipater to achieve even more efficiency.

Castle: Thanks for the idea, Thor. I might try it next time.

Black Dove: Let me go find your part, Castle. I will be coming shortly.

Don't pity the deaf man because he can see
That the universe we know is full of activity
There is no way to describe the wonder of sight
But the deaf understands and shares in the delight
The deaf also knows what the blind man does not
And can cry with the knowledge of what he has not got

Diamond: What the Hell are you doing, Castle?

Castle: Just playing with some poetry.

Malcolm: Itís better than his usual mumbling.

Indigo: Yes, I like it. How much do you have, Castle?

Castle: I have a bit. Itís not that good though.

Diamond: I guess that we are going to have to listen to it.

Castle: Yes. Here is the second verse.

Don't pity the lame because he has can move without feet
Floating can work with only arms or jet packs which are neat
Legs can get in the way of moving in space
The loss of those limbs will not hinder one's pace
The lame can fully enjoy in space what he may dream
While the blind can only think he is part of life's scheme

[Shot inside Castleís room aboard the Menlo Park. Engine parts placed about the room. While there does appear to be some logic in their placement, they are not in any organized appearance of being a unified engine. Black Dove stands among them holding one part.]

Black Dove: Sending you video Castle. I believe this is your part.

Castle: No. If you turn almost completely around to your left, it should be at your feet.

[It is obvious that the part she kneels in front of is larger than the object she is holding.]

Black Dove: This thing?

Castle: Yes.

Black Dove: This thing is supposedly more efficient?

Castle: And easier to replace. If you check the dissipater in your craft, you will find it sitting inside your engine core.

Thor: I believe that he is right about that.

Black Dove: I am going to need Sandraís help moving this thing. Let me go get her.

[As Black Dove leaves the room the shot switches to a view showing space from the front of Cloverís boat. Why this picture was used will be apparent as an odd moving object slightly glowing slowly comes into view that one can make out to be a small rocky body that appears at times as a head.]

Castle: In the meantime Ė

You can pity the sick man as life is often not fair
Pain and misery should not exist however rare
I visit the sick whenever I am around
To give them what comfort in my time can be found
The sick however know their situation and fate
The blind cannot know their own sorrow nor could they relate

Indigo: Where are you going with this poem?

Castle: Wait it out. Hey, Clover, what is that object ahead of you?

Diamond: Looks like a comet without a tail

Clover: Yep, comet. It is heading in, so within the year it will have its tail.

Diamond: Damn. Hey, Black Dove, does this mean that we are going to have to expand our scans?

[Shot of Black Dove in the engine room of the Menlo Park looking to a camera as she speaks.]

Black Dove: There is a lot of mining done in the comet clouds.

Clover: We did not encounter a comet cloud coming in.

Thor: If it is worth money, we check it out.

Black Dove: You heard the man. After we finish the initial scans, we will move further out.

[Shot of space this time from the front of Indigoís boat. The objects that slowly show here are not glowing, so probably not noticeable unless one is understanding that there is something there to see.]

Diamond; Hell. Okay, Castle, it seems that we time for another verse.

Castle: Okay.

Don't pity the artists as they are quite at home
In space he is free to let his mind roam
The stars have ever inspired imagination and wonder
The artists still have no barriers to what might be out yonder
No artist can write, paint, or sing what the blind cannot see
But no artists would for it would put the blind in misery

Doug: I like that verse, Castle. I might have to have you repeat this poem in a better acoustic setting.

Felix: Hey, Indigo, what is that in front of you?

Indigo: Asteroids.

Felix: They are grouped rather tightly. Doesnít look natural.

Indigo: I am not showing anything suspicious.

Clover: The data does not show anything suspicious. Still, stay alert, Indigo.

Indigo: I am bored. I went ahead and activated my weapons. Looking at them in a whole new way.

[Shot from inside Indigoís boat. The panel in front of her has a lot of red as a targeting icon moves on the image.]

Thor: You fire, you pay.

Indigo: If I fire, we will discuss it, as I promise you that I would have had a reason.

[Shot from outside Diamondís boat, but there really is not anything to see.]

Diamond: Hey, space aliens, you donít have friends hiding in those rocks?

Computerized voice: If you fire without provocation, you might have ruined your only chance of having friends out here.

Felix: You mean being nice and talking to you idiots does not count?

Computerized voice: Our kind will not fire first.

Clover: Bull. You already have.

Indigo: If I fire I will have to redo this scan. I thus am not firing without a reason. Castle, give us another verse.

Castle: I only have one more.

Yes, pity the blind man who has found himself in space
The fear we all comprehend the blind does not face
There are instruments that help the blind to cope
With the work here in space and live his life in hope
But pity the blind man as he works without a moan
Speaking to all not knowing that he is ever alone

Black Dove: I heard that, Castle. I promise that I am coming.

[This is actually reverse footage from The Next Experiment. It shows Castleís boat, then backs up to show him as a barely recognizable speck among a wide image of stars.]

Fantasy puts more requirements on the writer than any other fiction, because the world must be made as real before anything else can be real.
Adult Christian fiction quite different than all the usual lame stuff in that market. †"Dilemma of Dreams" now in hard back.
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Outside - Pity the Blind Man
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