No Zombie for a Neighbor
End of Day Nine: Late Night News
This is Sanford Haynes, chief director of this station. Before I have Bruce Williams begin his broadcast, I want to reissue a warning first given earlier in the day. The drainage system is being challenged by the influx of body parts, and there is no one to check on their operation. If they fail, we could have a serious situation. This is thus a warning that the Shreveport area could experience flooding.
We have further reports of the water outside being dangerous. Bruce Williams will have more to say on this matter. Those of us here at the station are however taking his words seriously, and we have begun to boil our water. As you know, we do have a kitchen for occasional cooking shows, and it has been put to use to feed those of us here. It is now however also being put to work simply to provide us with safe water.
We are doing our best to survive these times along with you. Just as Bruce has been delivering his nightly reports, we have our own stories of this tragic time. Ours is not so eventful, but many here feel that our difficulties would better relate to the actual situations of most of our viewers. I however, as chief director of this station, feel that our stories would not inspire you as have those of Bruce. We, I… I am inspired by Bruce Williams’ reports. I gave him permission to take that wrench with him, and I am glad that I did. Many here have complained about him having such a good weapon to combat the zombies, but there are other props about the station that I believe would also make effective zombie killing devices. We however have not felt the need to take action to survive the way that Bruce and his team have.
Those of us at the station are however assessing our situation. We are downtown, so have a much denser zombie population around us than Bruce. We however have gained access to our roof and have begun killing zombies. It is almost depressing to kill one zombie and not being able to see it fall due to the crowd of undead. A future of having no zombie for a neighbor seems immeasurably distant. I want it said however that I support Bruce and his no zombie for a neighbor slogan. His broadcasts will continue, and we here at the station hope to add our own stories in earlier time slots during the day. Not only has Bruce inspired me and those with me, but we want to do our part to spread the word. Those of us that are still alive need to take action to overcome the zombie threat.
To support my words, I am going to run the words of our president spoken earlier in the day. It seems that Bruce Williams’ words are spreading, and I feel that our viewers need to know that what is being done here in north Louisiana is being recognized. We however need to pull together and not allow Bruce to stand alone. We of the Shreveport area can set an example for the country, and possibly the world. No zombie for a neighbor can become a rallying cry next to ‘Remember the Alamo.’ Now, without further words from me, our president.
Fellow Americans, this is President Stephens. I want it said that your military has begun its work, but they are finding the task to present many problems. The zombie situation created a number of internal crises in their fellowship, and they are realizing that the dire problems did not stop at the boundaries of their fences. I have heard of bases thinking they had removed the surrounding zombie problem only to again become under siege by a mass of new undead once they announced themselves outside their gates. Some military units found themselves hopelessly surrounded after moving a ways from the base with officers worried about methods to provide them aid. Whatever hope the military wanted to offer to the American citizens has been presently put on hold as they continue to deal with personal conflicts.
From Louisiana however comes a voice that I want to take up at a national level. I have seen reports of someone making broadcasts speaking of having no zombie for a neighbor. Those of us in your national government want it said that a new law has been passed today. No zombie will be recognized as a citizen of the United States of America. No zombie for an American. The body, the soul, might have been an American, but upon becoming a member of the undead that honor is lost. Zombies have no rights under our constitution. ‘We, the people of the United States,’ does not include zombies. Zombies do not have ANY unalienable rights. They do not have the right to the pursuit of happiness. They do not have the right to assembly. Further, they are not alive, so killing them is not a crime. Some have spoken about the laws making it illegal to desecrate a corpse, but I have signed into law declaring that killing a member of the undead is consecrating a corpse, so again no one can be considered committing crime in taking the fight to the zombies. Yes, no zombie for a neighbor is a good slogan, and we here in your capital are taking action to give it substance.
Support for these bills has come from our scientific community. They are reporting that a complete physiological change happens to a body in it becoming a zombie. It is no longer human. Exactly the processes that are animating the corpses is presently still unknown, but the evidence is substantial that they have evolved, transformed, metamorphasized, whatever into something not human. These new life forms are however very much recognized as being harmful to our environment. An eradication of this invasive species is thus considered best by our scientists.
I said when I became your supreme leader that I wanted to be known as a strong President, because I led a strong people. I thus want all of you to know that I giving you the liberty to declare your strengths. Rise up and remove any zombie that you have a neighbor. Let us make this country non-friendly to undead.
Thank you, my fellow Americans. May God bless us all.
This is Bruce Williams, and I want it said that I am actually grateful for the words from both of my supreme leaders, as I do not have much to say. The rain prevented Mr. Eddlemon from getting back out today. He however did send word that he had spent time servicing his piece of machinery, so it should be ready to go when the weather again permits. What words I do have are also not good, and due to having some of my time taken I will simply present my evidence without ranting about what it could mean to all of us.
The film footage that you are being seen is the same yard that everyone went out and had some free time in yesterday evening. As you can see it is now flooded. That scum you see floating is not trash. While garbage is assuredly presenting a problem in places, that is not what I want to warn you about. That filth is the remains of zombies. The bodies of the undead are decomposing in a manner that is not normal. Flies do gather about the bodies, but not in the concentration that is normal around decaying bodies. Some here have suggested that they are laying eggs in remaining sections of good flesh, but not in the affected bodies themselves. There is definitely not the stench from the corpses that plague many crime scenes.
The water shows another difference in zombies and a normal body of any other creature on this planet. The decomposing tissue completely breaks down into this oily filth. We have stayed in the church worried about the presence of this scum. Surely it carries the plague, and that makes it one of the most dangerous agents on this world.
What further bothers us that saw this vile substance was what effect would it have on our environment. Since nothing eats zombie flesh, and since it does not decompose in the normal manner, how will it be absorbed into the soil? Will the agent of the plague become infused in our plants? Will our whole ecology switch to being zombies as our plants become carriers of the zombie menace, animals eat the plants, and the horrid agent moves up the food chain? God said that a third of the life on this planet would be killed. I however estimate that maybe a third of us remain alive. I fear that God may not have realized just how powerful he is, and released a horror upon us much more deadly than he intended.
I would recommend boiling your water and fully cooking your food. This especially applies to any of you growing your own food. I suspect that meat is safe, although exactly how the plague affects the animals is presently uncertain. I thus have to assume that the meat of an animal that is not a zombie could still be carrying the plague. Plants however draw up the water into their tissues. I suspect by tomorrow all of the surrounding grass will have inside it molecules of the zombie menace. A warning to vegetarians, you are especially vulnerable to becoming zombies.
While we are speaking about washing the cement parking lot with heavy cleaning agents, we worry about allowing the children to play in the grass. Honestly, we look to the trees and worry about the falling leaves. The plants that we once saw as part of the beauty and majesty of God’s great plan are now seen as agents of something more vile than death.
Right now there are a lot of unknowns about our situation. What we know however is the seriousness of the undead menace. We have to take these suppositions with more than a grain of salt. They must be actually considered to be real. One does not just get sick, or even die, but becomes a walking corpse that spreads its horror by killing others or changing them into zombies. That we do know, and the reality that our dilemma is not going away must be dealt with.
Boil your water. Cook your food. Worry, worry, worry about your children playing outside. While the youngsters in this church still look to the playground equipment with desire, all of us adults wonder if they will ever get a chance to play on it. For some us, outside is no longer paradise, and turning every plot of ground into a parking lot seems reasonable.
Let me say that we can overcome. Mankind has survived numerous disasters, and we can survive this one as well. It will take diligence. It will take perseverance. We however owe it to ourselves, to our children, to do everything it takes.
Instead of soup and sandwiches, our church is switching to just soup. Everything will be cooked. Foods that had to be cooked to be prepared, will be heated up again. The precautions might be unnecessary at this time, but we see them as becoming very necessary in the near future. We are going to start establishing the habit now that should help us stay alive later.
Everyone listening needs to be concerned for the new development in this plague. Not only does it introduce a new fear into your lives, but it should also cause you to see the dire nature of the threat upon us. We must remove the zombie threat. The sooner we can eliminate the undead, the sooner our world can purge itself of the evil that has been released. No zombie for a neighbor needs to be become no zombie for an American, and even no zombie for a creature on this planet. Let us rise up and cleanse our planet. For our own survival, it must be done.
This has been Bruce Williams. Good night and God bless.
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