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Is the phrase "Once upon a time..."
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Monthly Writing Prompt
For this month's writing prompt write a scene using the following sentence to start;

The streets were deserted. Where was everyone? Where had they all gone?

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Look Back

When not able to write ahead, it helps to look back. In my case I had written a paragraph ahead of the story. What I needed to do was add a section of exposition (talking) presenting some facts. In going back, I realized that I could insert a section where a 'tour' of the surroundings could be done. This allowed for character interaction, story development, and other things that enabled me to present the facts in an entertaining manner.

One should not face a writer's block with the mentality of bursting through it. I have found in my own experience that a writer's block is usually due to my mind indicating that it has a problem in 'channeling' the story. One reason might be a re-imagining of certain story points. Another reason however is that there is a problem in where you are at in the story, so you need to look back and find out the problem with the 'journey' that prevents the tale from advancing.

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 K.I.D.S. -Chapter 1: The School (Who Are You Kidding?! It's A Kid Pound!)

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Phalen Schuyler


Number of posts : 27
Age : 27
Location : Clarksville, MD
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Registration date : 2008-07-18

PostSubject: K.I.D.S. -Chapter 1: The School (Who Are You Kidding?! It's A Kid Pound!)   August 21st 2008, 6:17 pm

Las Vegas scuffed his shoe into the red mud. He was bored; all of the kids were bored, as usual. In fact, he had been bored most of his school years starting from age four to nine. They did not have a playground, the principal said that there was not any time for them to play. There was no tetherball court or basketball hoops handy. Not even a small ball was there for the kids to share.The only thing that they could really do was stand around and talk to one another for a whole hour. The teacher said that they needed fresh air, but then again, what is fresh air without anything to play with? To be more specific, what is fresh air without having anything to do? Several girls started a game of Concentration, but they did it every single day, so the clapping soon faltered, and came to a stop. Then the bell rang, at exactly one o'clock, as it always did. The kids filed back into the building, as always too. Once in his assigned classroom, Las Vegas slipped into a seat next to his best and most loyal friend, Domino, as always. It was not a very common name for a kid, but then again, neither was Las Vegas. In fact, none of the kids in the school had normal names. Some of the kid's names were London, Olympic, Tequila, and so on. To tell the truth, all of the kids at the school were orphans. You see, it was and orphanage, but then the owner decided, that while waiting for someone to adopt the hundreds of kids, they would educate them. The principal had put an ad in the newspaper;
"Want to adopt a child? Come to McCleaf's School of Young Kids. Nice, well-trained, healthy children."

Once Las Vegas saw that ad, he loathed the principal even more. He was talking about them as if they were dogs! "Nice, well-trained, healthy children". The teacher's voice caused him to jolt out of his unhappy thoughts. "Las Vegas, pay attention, will you? This is the third time this week! Come up and write "I will pay attention in class", ten times on the board. He groaned and stood up, rolling his eyes at Domino, who just stared at him laughingly, wearing a "Haha-you-have-to-write-lines-and-I-don't" look. Las vegas wrote on the chalkboard every week, so the other kids were not surprised at all.
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View user profile http://www.writerscafe.org/writers/PhalenSchuyler/


Number of posts : 1287
Age : 58
Location : Ringgold, Louisiana
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Registration date : 2008-07-21

PostSubject: Reply   August 22nd 2008, 5:51 pm

Okay. My only advice is to get serious with it. I would call this a toss-out. Something that is only written to get a feel for characters and setting. The problem is that I cannot tell for what purpose it is intended. If it is children's literature, you will need to get more descriptive with the children and what pranks/actions they are about. If it is more serious, you need to flesh out the setting to appease a more mature mind and tickle their interest. Whatever this is, you need more to have it treated with some real respect.

Fantasy puts more requirements on the writer than any other fiction, because the world must be made as real before anything else can be real.
Adult Christian fiction quite different than all the usual lame stuff in that market.  "Dilemma of Dreams" now in hard back.
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PostSubject: Re: K.I.D.S. -Chapter 1: The School (Who Are You Kidding?! It's A Kid Pound!)   August 26th 2008, 2:46 am

I agree, it seems like you were doing a little notetaking. Jotting down ideas for future stories. So far so good as far as an idea goes. The title sugests this is an entire chapter; I'm not sure if there is an actual word count as far as chapters go but I'm sure you don't have enough here to complete an entire chapter unless you are writing a childrens book, probably with illustrations.

I like the unusal character names, that is always positive when 'I'm' reading because it sets your work apart from the rest. As a whole however we need to see more.

Coming soon perhaps?

Easy reading is damn hard writing! I love you

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Location : Valencia, Spain
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PostSubject: Re: K.I.D.S. -Chapter 1: The School (Who Are You Kidding?! It's A Kid Pound!)   August 31st 2008, 8:45 am

Hello Phalen,

I liked it, I found it funny and entertaining and I also found it short, I assume this is the beginning of something and if it is then it's going to be something funny if it goes in the same lines. If it's supposed to be finished, then I feel cheated, hahahaha, yes, like you've only given the advert for the sweet and then there's no sweet type of thing.

I hope I'm making sense.
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PostSubject: Re: K.I.D.S. -Chapter 1: The School (Who Are You Kidding?! It's A Kid Pound!)   August 31st 2008, 8:46 am

I liked the names too by the way.
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