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 Life on the Other Side: Chapter One (Complete)

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Number of posts : 1324
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PostSubject: Life on the Other Side: Chapter One (Complete)   February 12th 2013, 12:29 pm

I am not certain if anyone will appreciate this story. Let me however say that I have long considered these imaginary people in my stories as friends. In my time working with my father, who is suffering from Parkinsons, Greg and Calliope have proven very supportive. I am thus presenting their tale. One, because I have it mostly finished, so it is ready to be presented. The other reason is just because it is my way of giving my thanks to these friends. Whether you like this story or not, please – as friends yourselves – tolerate my time in presenting these chapters.

The second Blue Flame novel –
There is a wiki database to reference names, although you can certainly ask me questions as well.

The Other Side of Life
Chapter One: Part One

(Doris Sanders / Vefillaya)

Doris Sanders heard the voice. She had spoken to it and listened to its reply. She still could not believe what it said was true.

“Greg, is that really you?”

“Yes, mother, it’s me. Just checking on you.”

She had already asked, but could not think of anything to do but ask again. “Are you all right?”

“Yes, mother, I’m fine.”

“Why don’t you visit?”

“Because I would turn around and leave again. I just want to know that you are all right. I left suddenly, but I am not returning. I still want you to know that I miss you.”

Doris Sanders had no choice but to ask the question that bothered her. “Are you in trouble, son?”

“No, mother. I am happily married with a …”

“You’re married?”

He laughed. She had not heard him laugh in a long time. Doris had to wipe her eyes upon hearing him laugh. Feeling hope that things were not as bad as she thought, she could not help but rush out some words.

“Married? Son, I have to meet her.”

“No, mother, no. Truthfully, she wants to meet you too. She however understands, and we are both scared that you will not.”

“What?” Doris again felt troubled by the phone call. “What is wrong with her?”

“She’s a space alien, mother. She’s a blackish-blue, more blue, with white hair. Other than that, she is really rather attractive.”

“Do you have children?”

The laugh was not as deep this time. More of a quick chuckle. There was however a calmness in the sounds that prevented Doris from really being concerned.

“We cannot have children, mother. If you ever have grand-children, Mother, it will be far in the future with some other lady.”

“I will still want to meet her, Greg.”

“I will try for Halloween, Mother. How about that? There are many, many reasons why something could happen, but I will try.”

Doris felt that the conversation was coming to an end. She did not want that. She wanted to know more.

“How about pictures, son?”

“Check your mail, Mother. On the computer, not in the mailbox.”

No, she was not ready for the conversation to end. “Well, what is her name?”


“Oh, well, it sounds like a space-alien name.”

He laughed again. Doris thought it really strange to hear him laugh, but good strange. He did not sound stressed. He really sounded happy.

“I just thought it was lovely, Mother. I really don’t know how much I will explain to you, Mother. I do want you to meet her. I do want to spend time just showing her things, but she is a space-alien and I have obligations. We will try for Halloween.”

“Uh, should I get a costume?”

“Yes, Mother, that is a good idea. I mean, we don’t want people thinking Vefillaya is strange just because she is the only one in costume – even though she really won’t be. I might dye my skin blue as well.”

Doris remembered a number of things said about her son, so felt like dispelling one of them. “Are you doing drugs?”

“No, mother. I am an ambassador for the space-aliens. It is kinda an easy job, although it is not my real job. My real job is real tough, but I enjoy it. It was really tough on Earth, but I got out into space and found a home. Vefillaya works to keep me happy, and she does a good job. We will try to explain some of it when we come.”

She knew the phone call was coming to an end. Doris however wanted something substantial. She thus rushed into another room of her house and shook the mouse to wake her computer back up. During this time she spoke of what she had been doing during the day, and about some of the investigation that went into searching for Greg. When the screen finally blinked back on, she checked her mail. There was indeed a picture. Her son sat in a nice apartment on a couch with a lady whose skin was indeed a very dark blue. The white hair caused Doris, who also had white hair, to think of the lady as old. No wrinkles showed on her skin however, and her smile was that of a young lady. Doris looked at the picture and felt that she could indeed end the conversation.

“Thank you for the picture.”

“I want to tell you not to show it around, Mother, but it really does not matter. Anyway, Halloween, if I can. I love you.”

“Love you too, son.”

Doris really wondered how her son gained a job with the space-aliens, and how he met his wife. She looked at the picture and wondered a number of things. Seeing that Halloween was still over a month in the future, Doris hoped that she had enough time to prepare.

~^~^~ ^~^~^ ~^~^~

Vefillaya saw the light. The emperor had told the captain to install it, and she was glad that they did. She had not been married to Greg for long, but understood that her attachment to him came with a price. She did not mind paying it, and even looked forward to it, but she had been caught at times not really in the mood. Greg accepted her even then, actually glad to see different sides of her, but Vefillaya knew that she was supposed to keep him happy. The light let her know to prepare to get to work.

A number of factors determined just how fast he would arrive at the apartment. Sometimes he would head to the bridge of the spaceship to speak with the captain. Other times he would go to speak to another of the ambassadors on board. Vefillaya however knew that Greg had mentioned doing something the next time he was called into action, so expected him to come to her.

She moved to kiss him as he came through the door. While he looked to her eagerly, Vefillaya felt his weight as they traded affection. His work was not really physical, but extremely taxing on his mind. That was where her work began. She found one of her major requirements to be to get his body active, so it would be as ready to rest as his mind. Vefillaya directed her husband through the front room to their bedroom hoping that he would stay conscious long enough for her to do her job.

Greg untied his shoes as he said, “I did go to Earth. Calliope has made contact with a certain family. She is preparing for her eventual return.”

Vefillaya finished stepping out of her clothes. She was his wife, but not really his equal. She had none of his knowledge, or skills, and especially not his powers. While no dishonor came to her, all knew that her position came with an obligation. She really wondered what he saw in her. She was not human, a fact she felt was even more glaring with her naked. He however would look upon her with desire, and touch her rough skin very pleased with what he felt. Had she not married him, another man, her uncle, would be able to command her body, but even though he was of her race she felt that he would not have been so joyful at having her to play with. Those thoughts had her ever willing to offer herself to Greg, and his attitude at having her body caused her to want to ever stay his wife.

She actually did enjoy his body. His smooth skin, even with the light covering of hair, was pleasant to touch. It had a lot more reaction to its surroundings than hers. Over the short time of being married to the man, Vefillaya found herself believing that she found his body more attractive than he could possibly find hers.

He was talking, and she was listening, although allowing the words to pass until later when they had time to relax together. Right now he needed rest. The talking helped him clear his mind, which was necessary for him to sleep peaceably. Vefillaya however found herself having to ask a question.

“What? Halloween?”

Greg could speak to all creatures, and all could understand him. He had been working to learn the language of the Suderling Union, but still usually spoke in his own native tongue trusting in who he was to translate his words. The number of differences between his culture and hers however did not allow some words to be understood.

“It is an old holiday when my people believed that the spirits walked. There were good and bad spirits with some seeking to move on and others doing mischief. No one really believes in that stuff, but dressing up in costume and going around letting the children have candy while the adults say good words to each other is not bad. It can have its fun.”

“Costume? Oh. You don’t want your people to think I am strange.”

“Oh, they can think you are strange. It’s Halloween, so being strange is all right. I just don’t want them to think of you being anything but my pretty wife. The blue skin, the white hair, the ears on top of your head, all of that is really not normal for humans. You are pretty however, and my wife, so they can see you as my pretty wife who just happens to have done some exotic costume for Halloween.”

She opened up herself to have sex with him as she cheerfully asked, “Do you really believe that I am pretty?”

“From the first time I saw your picture.”

Even as mentally taxed as his mind was, his body did not quickly end a certain function. There was no bone in his manly member, so it took some thought to have it strong for the sexual activity. It seemed that there were hormones and such as well, as he could be firm for some time even as his concentration wavered. Vefillaya found other females of her race complain of the short period of the joining with their husbands. They mentioned having the bony projection of their man enter, then almost immediately feeling the release. She found even the literature almost never spoke of the prolonged duration of her body speaking of its joy in being complete.

Even though only married for a short time, Vefillaya felt that it was already routine for her to collapse upon her mentally taxed husband and tell him that she was his wife. He would move a hand through her hair and tell her that he would always want her. She would pant as her body told her it was now complete. She could not have children though. Even if her reproductive organs were whole, his sperm would not match with her eggs. While Vefillaya would lay feeling that she would have a period of peace, she knew the experience would repeat for the rest of her life. Hoping for her husband, and especially herself, she prayed that she would never tire of this requirement of her marriage.

Fantasy puts more requirements on the writer than any other fiction, because the world must be made as real before anything else can be real.
Adult Christian fiction quite different than all the usual lame stuff in that market.  "Dilemma of Dreams" now in hard back.
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PostSubject: Part Two   February 17th 2013, 12:37 pm

The second Blue Flame novel –
There is a wiki database to reference names, although you can certainly ask me questions as well.

The Other Side of Life
Chapter One: Part Two


She stayed with her husband until he finally drifted off into unconsciousness. Vefillaya looked at the man wondering if she loved him. That had not been a requirement of the marriage. She had not come to him due to any emotional reason. She had performed a risky stunt, and hurt herself very badly. Worse, she had damaged her reproductive organs beyond repair. That made her a melpriane. It was against the laws of her world that she could participate in the normal courtship ritual. A marriage was a contract between a man and a woman for the purpose of procreation. To have a man fall in love with her, then force him to accept a life without children, was considered a vile act. Vefillaya could get a job, have a life, but she could not be anyone’s wife. It had been decided that she would be given to her uncle for any intimate contact. That had not pleased her, or her brother, and thankfully their relationship was such that he willingly made the financial risk to have her go to a social where a powerful alien would be choosing a mate. She could make herself attractive to this man, because he knew that the relationship would be childless. Now, having gained him as her husband, she found herself wanting to keep him.

Many people told her that she did not have to love Greg. All she had to do was keep him wanting to come back to her. Whatever that took, and all felt certain that it would take sex, she needed to do it. Vefillaya however felt that she did love this man. He was her husband. She wanted him coming back to her, and would do what it took to keep him in her life. As for the sex, she felt her body each time speak its joy in having the man. The flow of hormones had her willingly undress in his presence, although she felt that a deeper connection existed that would cause her to do even more things if necessary for him.

She fell asleep for a time. He would hold her as a prized possession when awake, and even though now asleep he continued to hold her. Parts of her were smooth, but most of her skin was rough. Even around other males of her race, Vefillaya would put lotion on her skin to make it less abrasive. Greg did not complain about her skin, although she did her best to have it as smooth as possible for him. He would touch her with delight, and hold her with a desire not to let her go. She liked that, even though she also knew it was her duty to have him think that way about her. Pleased to have a life with someone that truly wanted her, even in his dreams, she stayed in his embrace and slept pleased with her life.

The sounds of the cleaning crew awoke her, and she left the bed. Being this man’s wife was considered a job. However great her pleasure in having the position, she knew that all wanted to see her at work. Vefillaya thus dressed and went to look busy.

Greg was officially the prime ambassador of the diplomatic space ship named the Apostle. Ambassador Hubrinostry was the senior ambassador, but he was required to defer to Vefillaya’s husband. He had other duties, and really no experience as being a diplomat, so did not challenge any ‘advice’ from the true ambassadors. The power that Greg commanded however made him a celebrity, so most sought his oversight on their diplomatic concerns just to have him in attendance. It was thus not exactly a power struggle between the ambassadors, but a collective arrangement of how to satisfy certain personalities while successfully gaining a proper agreement.

In order to meet with various dignitaries, Greg’s apartment had to look its best. Vefillaya thus stepped out of the bedroom to speak to those working about what she felt needed done. After telling them to do only what they could without making noise, she pointed to one of the crew chiefs to let him know that she had a special request.

“Dame Vefillaya, how may I serve?”

“Greg is wanting to take me to a special occasion where I can meet his mother. I am not of his race, and it is considered best if I could be less unique. I will thus be seeking a type of gown that appears to be a costume.”

“Well, if you could give me an idea.”

She could not decide if the crew chief was a bug or a worm. He had a thick lower section with a multitude of tiny feet, a thin narrow waist upon which was his uniform, then a thick upper section with a multitude of tiny hands beneath which was the organs usually associated with a head. Vefillaya however knew that he could work with cloth, and did not care what he was as long as he did his job.

“Chief Adrinnik, I will be attempting to come up with something. I just wanted to give you a warning.”

The upper portion of his body moved up and down, then stopped as he said, “That however is a good idea. We have a meeting of the Pranashall Consortium in the future, and some special gathering has been suggested. I might mention a costume ball. Those of the Pranashall Consortium truthfully only gather for show, and something like a costume ball might meet their fancy.”

“Then I might need you for more than one outfit.”

“Of course, and at least one for your husband as well. I will await your eventual design.”

She moved into the kitchen to fix herself something to eat. Seeing a few members of the cleaning crew at work, Vefillaya decided to do some business of her own. She moved into a room set up as her husband’s private office, and accessed his computer. After finding a bag of her husband’s snacks, she munched on the unhealthy fare while making a communication.

Ambassador Hubrinostry smiled upon seeing her and said her name. She was not at all certain what type of creature that he evolved from. While it was not visible, she knew that he had a large lower section with powerful legs draped with skin from a prehistoric ancestor that flew. His upper section was more agile, which one watched for signs of expression. His face had a mouth whose lips were of a hard material making a beak, so he easily kept a constant pleasant countenance to those who watched it. He had not ever treated her as just a possession of Greg. While her duties were truthfully only that of someone usually bought at a price for a limited time, even among the upper echelon of people she was given the respect of being a proper wife. To maintain that level of respect, Vefillaya did what she could to act as a dependable conduit of information for her husband.

She informed the senior ambassador of Greg’s intention to take her for a visit to his native home, but mostly let him know of the chief tailor’s comment about having a costume ball. He thanked her for the information. As she expected, he did not speak further about the coming diplomatic gathering, which was his area of expertise, but of her personal activity.

“Vefillaya, you are aware that Greg is from a world that has yet to achieve tachyon speeds, and has not yet met any other intelligent life forms.”

“That is the reason for the timing and the costume.”

“Of course, just, be gracious.”

“I doubt that to be a problem. However, let me say that his world has supplied the immortals with two members. One of those, Calliope, has served for over two centuries with the majority opinion desiring her to retain her position. Of all the beings in all the galaxies, that makes Greg’s people something special. I thus am eager to see what I can of them, and be accepted.”

Ambassador Hubrinostry had obviously been typing notes into his computer. She suspected that it dealt with the suggestion of a costume ball for the coming meeting of the consortium delegates. Vefillaya felt that her belief gained justification when his eyes focused on her and his arms stopped moving.

“That is an interesting thing to say. I was going to be polite, but now I am going to be forceful. Expect to have me quiz you about the experience.”

“Please, but expect me to be just as forceful about what conclusions you might form with the evidence. None of us are among the immortals. I speak with Greg and Calliope. They have described all of the other immortals, and not one is from the Suderling Union. Why?”

“I believe the emperor has people wondering the same.”

The emperor could be nice as well, but she well knew of his power and intelligence. He was responsible for putting Greg in charge of this spaceship, and the gathering that enabled her to become his wife. The emperor definitely wanted someone of her husband’s power where he could access it. Vefillaya however knew that Greg did not mind the emperor, as he had made good decisions, including the hands-off attitude toward him. No conflict with the actual powers of the Suderling Union had occurred, because they let him be happy with his wife until some occasion when they truly would need him. The emperor had sent two people across galaxies to gain Greg once, so felt it was understood what would be done if necessary to gain support when this part of the universe was threatened.

In dealing with him, the emperor learned some facts of Greg. One of those was that he had not been the Blue Flame for long. Further, Calliope temporarily lost her position as Death. That told the emperor that his ace in the hole might not be present when needed.

Vefillaya definitely understood some of the conditions of Greg’s position and her marriage. She honestly felt herself attached to the man for life. Due to her accident, she either stayed the wife of Greg or the plaything of her uncle. That fact made her committed to the human on a more practical level than love.

Fully understanding Ambassador’s Hubrinostry’s statement, she replied, “Greg and Calliope are so nice. She is considered a good Death, because she will listen to the final words of the dying. Greg studied for years before taking on the full mantel of his power, and I hear him often speaking of gaining praise from the other immortals at the quality of what work he does. Jirdan and Tertha however speak of the space-faring race of his galaxy as not being interested in his world. They are alone. Something just does not seem right.”

The ambassador nodded as he said, “I also find Greg to be very intelligent. Of all the people that could have been put as my superior, I find working with your husband to be quite easy. Yes, Vefillaya, learn all that you can about him. There might be something there that we of the Suderling Union need to know.”

She nodded with agreement as she worked to end the communication. “Greg is asleep right now. He went off to check on some concerns, then became involved in a glacier lake releasing along what had been a strong bank of ice. A peat bog was excavated by the water and really caused damage that involved him and Drought needing to restore things. From there he visited Earth. He thus came home quite tired, and I expect him to sleep for a time. When he wakes up, I will tell him of this conversation.”

Ambassador Hubrinostry thanked her, then wished her well. She closed the communication feeling that she had proven herself as more than just a sexual toy. Wondering what else she could do of worth, she moved back into the front room of her apartment.

Fantasy puts more requirements on the writer than any other fiction, because the world must be made as real before anything else can be real.
Adult Christian fiction quite different than all the usual lame stuff in that market.  "Dilemma of Dreams" now in hard back.
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Location : Lincolnshire UK
Registration date : 2013-08-04

PostSubject: Re: Life on the Other Side: Chapter One (Complete)   August 4th 2013, 6:47 am

I there terishD, I’ve a new member to the site and I hope you don’t mind me making a comment or two.
Obviously I started off at the beginning of your story. One of the things I found was that you tend to make your sentences to sharp. So sharp in fact, that it feels that you clipped them off with a pair of scissors. Try to make your writing flow more naturally  
Also perhaps a few changes in the words would also help your story to move along more smoothly.
Being a Brit I’ve not bothered with the spelling, as our two countries appear to differ on that subject.
Any words I think would be better suited  will be in italics and any words to be removed are in bold and underlined and my comments are in red.
Doris Sanders heard listened the voice. She had spoken to it and listened to its reply on many occasions. Yet she still could not couldn’t believe what it said was true.
Try to place yourself in your characters’ and speak the language that they would use.
“Greg, is that really you?”
“Yes, mother, it’s me. Just checking on you.” “Just wondering how you are?”
Just checking on you sounds like a prison guard doing his rounds.
She had She'd already asked, but could not couldn’t think of anything to do but ask again. , “Are you all right?”
It is always a comma if the person is going to say something. Look in a book for thing you are not sure about.
“Yes, mother, I’m fine.”
“Why don’t you visit?”
“Because I would turn around and leave again. I just want to know that you are all right. I left suddenly, but I am not returning. I still want you to know that I miss you.”
Try to re-write this bit and don’t use the word JUST too often, as it is known to be a weak word and your story should only have strong ones.
Doris Sanders had no choice but to ask the question that bothered her. “Are you in trouble, son?”

We know she is talking to her son, so do we really need the word here?  
“No, mother. I am happily married with a …”
“You’re married?”

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PostSubject: Reply   August 4th 2013, 8:16 am

Whoa, a critique. Thank you. I get these almost - never. It is appreciated, because I do these so much to other people.

1) Doris Sanders heard listened the voice. She had spoken to it and listened
Ah, that is why I did not use listen there, because it is used in the next sentence. Being redundant is being simplistic. I understand that listen is more of an action verb, but doing the same thing gets monotonous.

2) I preach AGAINST contractions in the narrative. While the PoV (Point of View) might talk like that, I consider the narrative a formal presentation. I thus edit out contractions in the narrative, while leaving them in the actual speech. That is just me, but I consider it the proper way to write.

3) The last ones (other than the comma thing) are with the way the person speaks. Nothing you said is wrong, but it not how I hear the person speak. I get so frustrated with those editors that tell me to have each person sound different, then do as you did and make suggestions to have everyone sound the same.

Greg is a very structured regulated person. He is nice and easy-going, but really by-the-book when you cut deep. He was a science geek who researched enough to perform an experiment that got him into the situation he is in. Instead of rushing around doing all sorts of stuff, he did specific things to test his abilities. He then spent years at a small college studying more. Greg would not be someone found at the bar(pub) singing school songs, making toasts, and being sociable. He would be that guy standing proud but silent, and when you speak to him you would feel that he is not in his element.

You are obviously not a salesman with the 'son' statement. Those in sales or other people-dependent occupations are taught to use identifiers to connect with the one they are speaking to. I pick up on them quick, as they want my name quick upon meeting then use my name often. Those people bother me as well, but they do exist, and I allow them in my stories. You should as well just so your cast of characters do not all sound the same.

Fantasy puts more requirements on the writer than any other fiction, because the world must be made as real before anything else can be real.
Adult Christian fiction quite different than all the usual lame stuff in that market.  "Dilemma of Dreams" now in hard back.
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