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Monthly Writing Prompt
For this month's writing prompt write a scene using the following sentence to start;

The streets were deserted. Where was everyone? Where had they all gone?

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Our monthly writing tips are written by our very own TerishD. You can read more in Terish's Blog located in "The Abstractions" area of the forum.

Look Back

When not able to write ahead, it helps to look back. In my case I had written a paragraph ahead of the story. What I needed to do was add a section of exposition (talking) presenting some facts. In going back, I realized that I could insert a section where a 'tour' of the surroundings could be done. This allowed for character interaction, story development, and other things that enabled me to present the facts in an entertaining manner.

One should not face a writer's block with the mentality of bursting through it. I have found in my own experience that a writer's block is usually due to my mind indicating that it has a problem in 'channeling' the story. One reason might be a re-imagining of certain story points. Another reason however is that there is a problem in where you are at in the story, so you need to look back and find out the problem with the 'journey' that prevents the tale from advancing.

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 Twin Decision (A Short Story)

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Number of posts : 1136
Age : 41
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PostSubject: Twin Decision (A Short Story)   July 18th 2008, 4:49 am

Twin Decision
How am I supposed to explain this to him? The man with whom I vowed to spend the rest of my life. Now I’m in love with another, his brother. I married David at the simple age of 22. Simple I say because what the hell did I know? Fresh out of college, no money, no job and the first man I meet I fall deep into a pit of loving ignorance. I did it. I married him. Sadly now I have to live with the consequences of not getting to know him first. Don’t get me wrong he’s a wonderful man. Good looking, smart, wealthy, treats me like a princess. The kind of man that women see and wish for in their wildest fantasies. So why in the past two months have I’ve spent less than a week with him? He’s an advertising executive working a hell of a lot of overtime. His brother Daniel has been asked to protect his palace and queen while he’s away. Unfortunately for me, I have again fallen, using Daniel as my lifeline trying to climb out of my pit.

I went to the gym yesterday only to return home to Daniel. He was lying out by the pool, the curves of his body glistened with sweat as the afternoon sun beamed down upon him. My first thought was “good Lord.” David better get his ass home soon. I fixed myself a drink and sat in the bay window watching him. After a few minutes he got up and jumped into the pool. A few laps later, he got out and started rubbing suntan oil all over his Adonis like physique. I walked out, took the bottle from his hands. “Need some help with that?”

“Sure,” he replied.

David and Daniel are twins with Daniel having only one advantage over David, and that was that he was here. David was never home. When we were dating he was always flying in and out just to see me but now, well now, I’m rubbing lotion on his equally gorgeous brother.

“Well if I didn’t know any better I’d say that you two didn’t miss me at all.”

“DAVID, you’re home.” I jumped at the sound of his voice but with excitement hugging him.

“Yes I am. Has my brother been seducing you while I was away?”

“Yes and I’m afraid it’s worked. I’m leaving you for Daniel.” Daniel was sitting there smiling. David smiled back at him.

“Oh no,” David says jokingly. We joke like that all the time but what David doesn’t know is these thoughts have actually crossed my mind. David and I walked back into the house where he grabs and kisses me. A bundle of European wildflowers are on the table. I run over to smell them.

“I came in for a few days but I’ll be home for a while after Saturday. I missed you so much that I had to see you.”

“I’ll tell you what, I’ll order a pizza and then we’ll go to bed early.” I replied with a wink.

“Sounds good.”

When the pizza arrived I took all my clothes off and put on an apron. David was lying in the bed. “Dinner is served.” He got up, took the pizza and threw it on the table. Lovingly David tells me, “I’m hungry for pizza but I see something that is more appetizing.” He came up behind me softly rubbing my pubic area through the apron. Weak and trembling I grabbed his hands and pulled him to the bed. We made love for three hours, causing me to remember why I fell so hard and fast for David Perry. “I miss you so much when you’re away. I have to tell you I miss this most of all.”

“I know but what can I do? I have to work.” David replied taking me in his arms.

“No you don’t, we are very wealthy people David. We don’t need anymore money.”

“Lets not argue. I promise to talk about this Saturday, okay baby? Now I’m still hungry you got anymore of that pizza?”

“No. If you want I can order another one. Do you think one day we will ever eat any of these pizzas?”

“Probably not,” David smiles as his hand disappears under the sheet. He left me again on Monday morning.

Daniel didn’t say much except, “what’s for dinner?” and other small talk like that. So his being talkative today made me a little nervous.

“You look very beautiful today.”

“Thanks,” I replied.

“Well what’s on the agenda? Are you going to the gym today?” Daniel asked knowing full well I go to the gym everyday but Sunday. “I think I’ll go with you. I usually do the night thing but my schedule has been getting a little crowded lately.” After the gym where I spent most of my time watching him instead of working out myself we went shopping.

“I bet David wouldn’t mind seeing you in this,” he said. I looked over seeing him holding up a triangular piece of cloth with strings attached also know as a thong.

“I don’t wear underwear,” immediately regretting saying anything at all. With a devilish grin on his face we drove home. I sat embarrassed next to him. As we walked in the door Daniel handed me an envelope and said read this. I sat on the couch and opened it. It read:

Dear Mandy,
Spending so much time with you has been a real eye opener. It’s taken a lot to write this note and a lot more to give it to you but it needed to be done. I don’t want to hurt you or my brother but I’ve fallen in love with you. Just being in your presence has made me realize this. When David arrived home I was a little disappointed. I would never do anything to hurt either of you but I felt in my heart that I would regret it if I didn’t tell you how I feel. I have seen you watching me so I assume the feelings are mutual. If not it’s okay. I love you. Just being around you makes it hard to control myself.

With hopeful love,

Once I stopped reading the letter I sat there for a while before looking up at Daniel. “Is this a joke?”

“No not at all. I’m sorry,” he said.

“Don’t be sorry. This is a lot to take in and yes I do have feelings for you too. What can we do though? I’m married to David and because I have feelings for you doesn’t mean I love him any less. I just wish that he was around more often.” There was a short pause. “Look you are both gorgeous, and you both treat me like I’m the only woman on the planet, but I’m married to your brother.

There’s nothing we can do.”

“I know. I just needed to tell you.” I got up to hug him but he walked away fast. “I’m going for a swim,” his voice cracked as he hurried off. I went up to my room, sat on the edge of the bed and sadly smiled. I don’t know what to do I have to spend the next week in this house with Daniel. Yes we can control ourselves but neither of us wants that. I need to make sure that my relationship with him goes no further. On the other hand, who knows when David gets tired of me, maybe Daniel and I will find each other.

I put on my bathing suit and walked down to the pool to join Daniel. He was doing laps, probably trying to ward off the disappointment. Not wanting to bother him I turned to leave when he said “come join me.” We smiled at each other. I dove in and he swam towards me.

“So how are we going to work this out?” I asked.

“We’ll be friends and in-laws for now. If something ever goes wrong, God forbid, between you and David I will be the first one at your door. This time however; I won’t take no for an answer.”

“Deal,” I said with truth in my heart. During the next week we got closer than ever before.
David arrived home in the early hours of Saturday. He climbed into bed and when I awoke I starred at the beauty of him. I quietly got out of bed and made the most delicious breakfast for him.

“Breakfast in bed. You haven’t made breakfast in bed for me in almost 2 ½ years. What’s the occasion?”

“Do I need one? I just missed you.” We ate quietly and then made love. After a shower I went to the gym. Upon returning I found a note from David saying he went ice fishing with Daniel and he’d be home around eight. Later that evening the phone rang.

“Hello?” I answered.

“Hi is this Mrs. Amanda Perry?”

“Yes it is. Can I help you?”

“Mrs. Perry, I’m afraid there’s been an accident at Dolphin Lake and your husband asked me to call.”

“Is David alright?” I interrupted.

“Oh yes, it was his friend who was with him that was hurt.”


“Yes, he is on his way to the Dolphin Lake Hospital and your husband wants you to meet him there.”

“How is Daniel?”

“Ma’am I don’t know, he wasn’t looking too good when we pulled them out of the water but the hospital will give you more information.”

I hung up the phone and ran out the door. David and Daniel have been going to Dolphin Lake for years. What could have gone wrong? I must have broken all the speed limits because the ambulance was just pulling away when I arrived at the emergency room. I saw David as I entered the automatic doors.

“Thank God you’re here. The ice broke around us and Daniel fell in. I jumped in to get him but was too late. He sunk and I couldn’t grab him. The other men on the ice called 911. They pulled us out and rushed us here,” he said without taking a breath. “I wanted you to be with me. I didn’t know what to do,” he continued.

“It’s okay baby. Just sit down. You did good. We have to wait for the doctors to tell us Daniel’s condition. How about you? Are you okay?” David look at me and nodded yes. The PA system rang for David, he didn’t answer. I nudged him figuring he was in shock. After almost an hour the doctor came out and you could see in his face the news wasn’t good.

“I’m sorry but there’s nothing more we can do,” the doctor announced. “Hypothermia set in before they pulled him out of the water, and we couldn’t get his body temperature up in time to keep his heart beating.” David collapsed in my arms sobbing. The next week was a bit of a blur. The funeral, the cemetery, just life around the house was slow and quiet. When I would call David’s name it was like talking to a brick wall.

Today I skipped the gym so I cooked a great dinner for David when he got home. When he arrived I was wearing nothing even the famous apron was crumpled on the corner of the table.

“Wow, is all this for me?” He asked with a big smile.

“Well of course,” I said getting up to make a 360 turn for him. He came over to kiss me.

“I have some great news,” he said excitedly.”


“As of 4:30 today I’m officially retired.” Even though my heart sang out I was really confused.

“I thought you said we’d talk about it. What’s wrong? Are you joking?”

“I thought this is what you wanted?” He asked looking confused. I kissed him long and passionately. We went upstairs. Another dinner wasted. This time we didn’t go through our normal routine. Of course I thought it was because of the tragedy that just occurred in our lives. When David started making love to me he was better then ever before. He whispered, “do you want me?”

“Yes,” I moaned.

Then he stopped and looked me square in the eyes and said, “I told you I wouldn’t take no for an answer.” Speechless, I gazed into his eyes and quietly questioned, “Daniel?”

He gently caressed me and as his lips brushed my neck he whispered, “yes my love!”

Easy reading is damn hard writing! I love you

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Last edited by Kellycakes on July 20th 2008, 7:31 pm; edited 1 time in total
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PostSubject: Re: Twin Decision (A Short Story)   July 19th 2008, 1:04 am

Wow...This is a great story. I love the way you write, very detailed and I can tell that writing is your passion.

I love the turn of the story. Never thought that it would end like that.

Great Job! Two thumbs up! cheers

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PostSubject: Re: Twin Decision (A Short Story)   July 23rd 2008, 12:04 am


I liked the twist to your story. Very good!
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PostSubject: Re: Twin Decision (A Short Story)   July 29th 2008, 1:10 pm

I love this story sis ...You are a writer ....cant wait to read another story.....Love ya

But words are things, and a small drop of ink, falling like dew upon a thought, produces that which makes thousands, perhaps millions, think. (Lord Byron)

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PostSubject: Re: Twin Decision (A Short Story)   August 26th 2008, 2:40 am

Thanks everyone, I'm glad you all like it so much. Anyone have any ideas on how I can make it better? I have one other short posted and I'm currently working on a rewrite, which will be quite long. That is what we endure as writers.

This story isn't as long but very much one of my favorites. If there is anything don't be afraid to hurt my feelings. I look forward to constructive criticism.

Easy reading is damn hard writing! I love you

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PostSubject: Re: Twin Decision (A Short Story)   August 27th 2008, 12:44 pm

Wow...this story is just one of the greatest stories I have ever read. Loved the story line...and twist it had in the end. Sorry...don't really have a constructive criticism right now, I just loved the whole thing. But it would be such a twist if, say, it turned out Daniel pushed David....but that would sort of kill the happy ending that I totally loved.
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PostSubject: Re: Twin Decision (A Short Story)   August 31st 2008, 10:43 am

I liked the story. I expceted her to have both daniel and david and not have one of them die....so the end was a surprise. gosh, twin bothers mmmm the things you can, well anyone, can com up with hahahha

the only thing that got me mixed up was the names, Daniel and David both start with DA and I got confused with that, sometimes I have short memory retention.
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PostSubject: Re: Twin Decision (A Short Story)   September 29th 2008, 12:05 am

It was an interesting story, definitely holding my attention- something very few things can do of late, but there's at least one thing that seemed odd.

To me, the biggest thing was the coversation where Daniel and Mandy talked about their feelings. It seemed a little too composed. For a woman who is confussed about her feelings to spout out such rational and controlled observations seems somewhat unrealistic to me.

I did enjoy the twist at the end though.
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