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Is the phrase "Once upon a time..."
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Total Votes : 3
Monthly Writing Prompt
For this month's writing prompt write a scene using the following sentence to start;

The streets were deserted. Where was everyone? Where had they all gone?

Writing Tip
Our monthly writing tips are written by our very own TerishD. You can read more in Terish's Blog located in "The Abstractions" area of the forum.

Look Back

When not able to write ahead, it helps to look back. In my case I had written a paragraph ahead of the story. What I needed to do was add a section of exposition (talking) presenting some facts. In going back, I realized that I could insert a section where a 'tour' of the surroundings could be done. This allowed for character interaction, story development, and other things that enabled me to present the facts in an entertaining manner.

One should not face a writer's block with the mentality of bursting through it. I have found in my own experience that a writer's block is usually due to my mind indicating that it has a problem in 'channeling' the story. One reason might be a re-imagining of certain story points. Another reason however is that there is a problem in where you are at in the story, so you need to look back and find out the problem with the 'journey' that prevents the tale from advancing.

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 A Trashcan Made of Gold.

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Number of posts : 569
Location : Corner of Insane Ave & Stupid St. in the State of Denial
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Registration date : 2008-09-23

PostSubject: A Trashcan Made of Gold.   December 31st 2008, 5:01 pm

This Post Under Revision. - Will be Re-posted when complete.

Last edited by Urs on January 2nd 2009, 10:42 am; edited 1 time in total
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Number of posts : 1287
Age : 58
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PostSubject: Reply   December 31st 2008, 5:35 pm

Heh-heh, I guess that I am coming down hard on you this time. Truthfully, I did not mean it to sound hard, but I believe that it does sound that way. Take it with a grain of salt, but hopefully it will provide some advice.

Of course, the mood is not right. You did nothing with the mood. You did not describe the setting (only in the conversation, not in mood gripping narrative), you really did not work with expressions, and the ending really does not have an impact grounding the reader to feel the impact of what has gone before.

1) Describe the setting. Come on. You failed miserably here.

2) Work with the expressions. For a piece that has a quote comment (he said, she said) in EVERY line, you really failed getting each line to resonate. I would recommend taking all that quote stuff out, keeping the words, then putting in stuff that gives each statement a presence - and allow reverberation, where you allow a response to stand alone behind another well-done statement (surely you assume that your readers are intelligent enough to know when one person stops talking that the other is speaking the next sentence).

3) End with an impact. I truthfully like your conclusion. My own belief is different/similar, although just as non-Biblical. I would re-work it to have that 'trashcan made of gold is still a trashcan' statement to finalize the piece.

I really do not know where you can go with this without completely blowing the mythos that everyone is comfortable with. I would suggest doing what I did, completely removing your story from our reality. That allows you to make similarities, but also write your own rules. I don't know, so don't be afraid of continuing to play with your story. Make it right for you.

Fantasy puts more requirements on the writer than any other fiction, because the world must be made as real before anything else can be real.
Adult Christian fiction quite different than all the usual lame stuff in that market.  "Dilemma of Dreams" now in hard back.
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PostSubject: Re: A Trashcan Made of Gold.   December 31st 2008, 6:59 pm

Points well made. Thank you.

I openly admit that It was meant to challenge the current idea of what people think. Such is the way of things.

Your review was not harsh at all, because truth be told I was struggling with this piece. I knew what I wanted, but I just could not get the situation out. Like I had hit a stumbling block (No pun intended)

Perhaps it was because I was trying to be too philosophical and not diving into the artistic side of the moment.

But now that you mention it, it is 3rd person narrative, I should set the scene better. I'll have to think of how to open it up.

You are correct that I may have been able to get away with such a quick opening if was I using first person, but in 3rd, it dies before it gets out the starting gate. I was wondering why this piece was just feeling off to me.

Also note: Point well taken about the trashcan commentary, yes, that would make a good "Last line"

I'll look into making corrections and try to rework the opening a bit, I'll take some time to rework this bit.

Thank you, and your commentary was not harsh at all, it was honest.
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A Trashcan Made of Gold.
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