PortalHomeGalleryFAQSearchMemberlistUsergroupsRegisterLog in
Log in
Log in automatically: 
:: I forgot my password
Is the phrase "Once upon a time..."
 33% [ 1 ]
 67% [ 2 ]
Total Votes : 3
Monthly Writing Prompt
For this month's writing prompt write a scene using the following sentence to start;

The streets were deserted. Where was everyone? Where had they all gone?

Writing Tip
Our monthly writing tips are written by our very own TerishD. You can read more in Terish's Blog located in "The Abstractions" area of the forum.

Look Back

When not able to write ahead, it helps to look back. In my case I had written a paragraph ahead of the story. What I needed to do was add a section of exposition (talking) presenting some facts. In going back, I realized that I could insert a section where a 'tour' of the surroundings could be done. This allowed for character interaction, story development, and other things that enabled me to present the facts in an entertaining manner.

One should not face a writer's block with the mentality of bursting through it. I have found in my own experience that a writer's block is usually due to my mind indicating that it has a problem in 'channeling' the story. One reason might be a re-imagining of certain story points. Another reason however is that there is a problem in where you are at in the story, so you need to look back and find out the problem with the 'journey' that prevents the tale from advancing.

Latest topics
» All Problems Have a Cause - Part 3 (13 - 18)
July 19th 2018, 7:53 am by TerishD

» All Problems Have a Cause - Part 2 (7 - 12)
June 19th 2018, 7:43 am by TerishD

» the sex life
June 7th 2018, 6:29 am by oskar

» yesterday's time
June 6th 2018, 8:52 am by oskar

» multiracial
June 5th 2018, 4:48 pm by oskar

Top posters
oskar (2320)
TerishD (1287)
HYdraMStar (1170)
Kellycakes (1136)
Snacker (818)
Urs (569)
fleamailman (400)
Leaka (334)
JuJu (287)
alexandra (198)

Share | 

 Into the Land of Immortals - Chpt 11

Go down 


Number of posts : 1287
Age : 58
Location : Ringgold, Louisiana
Current Mood :
Registration date : 2008-07-21

PostSubject: Into the Land of Immortals - Chpt 11   January 15th 2009, 7:51 am

Into the Land of Immortals
Chapter Eleven

Part 1

Terish actually apologized to Giluchex as they moved through a couple of portals, as he admitted that he was starting off the travel with some transitions that the horse would not be able to manage. Dathol and Straekin tried to make sense of where they were and relate it to other destinations. Giluchex's initial thought was to simply respond that he would do his best to figure out his location. The exotic scenery however reminded him that he had no real experience in moving through the omniverse. He had only been to one place away from his world. While it gave him a feeling of inadequacy, he had to admit that none of the names were familiar. It did not help his morale to hear Terish's quick confident voice add a statement.

"If you decide not to go with us, you will just have to wait for someone that can escort you home."

Still remembering how the simple presence of one being had frozen him, Giluchex fearfully asked, "That is a possibility?"

"Come on, Giluchex. Surely I have achieved a reputation with you of coming back."

Giluchex truthfully had never considered Terish to be funny. The guy usually spoke in a quick manner as if delivering punch lines, but they never connected for Giluchex. He however felt a sense of relief in simply being able to attempt humor, and he chuckled to help drive away any tension from the earlier encounter. To hopefully keep up an atmosphere of cheer, he voiced a reply.

"That you have, Terish. This adventure does seem rather extreme however."

"It is just your first one, Giluchex. Stay out here for a time, and you will find plenty of new stories to tell while you stand in front of the podium before the council."

Straekin added, "It would be nice to hear some new ones."

Giluchex did smile upon hearing those words, as they reminded him of statements from his children. He looked at Straekin considering her barely older than his daughter. She had however married a good man from Davelda, while his empress shared her life with an audacious alien. Giluchex's daughter had broken her relationship with her husband, while Straekin's face still showed joy when she looked to Terish. Giluchex considered that some of her pleasure was in seeing the man as the father of her children, as his daughter had her ability to reproduce destroyed by the process that made her immortal. Wanting to verify some facts and just provide advice to the young lady, Giluchex sought topics to open up discussion with his empress.

He first mentioned some issues that he felt needed to be resolved now that the council was again in session. Straekin showed her disfavor with the topic of politics by talking to him of issues she had to deal with concerning Thiminy. Before Giluchex could mention his disfavor with equating problems of a small technologically backward society to that of a world that had conquered death, Dathol mentioned a few concerns that had recently been presented to the elders of Merkinnist. The lady showed favor to the holy man by responding to his situation. Once that topic had been discussed, the group advanced the topic to consider a variety of legal issues and how different societies had resolved them. Giluchex did not like having the others intrude in what he wanted to be a private conversation between him and his empress. It did not help that she occasionally had control over the conversation, because the time usually had her explaining how she had supplanted the desires of Giluchex for a better resolution that satisfied a greater portion of her citizens. It further displeased him that Dathol and Terish said things to which Straekin agreed. Giluchex worked to find remarks enabling him to stay in the conversation in order to provide what he considered the proper words of wisdom for the lady.

A fear went through Giluchex after one transition between worlds had him see some strange beings in the distance. Still hearing sounds from the plants around him caused him to feel a sense of normalcy that had not been present in the earlier encounter. While the creatures were not human, he clearly recognized that no extreme terror rose within him due to their presence. He did sense a strong feeling of caution in facing the unknown, but it was not anything unusual from his knowledge of being in dangerous locales or with his journey beyond his world. Giluchex somehow understood that what was before him was vastly different than the one that had sat on the rock.

Some of the smaller creatures began running to the group yelling words that Giluchex could not understand. He could make out Terish's name being said, but that was all. Straekin, Dathol, and Terish spoke to each other concerning signs of trouble, although Giluchex noted that none of the remarks were directed at those quickly coming upon them. As the small creatures ran up to the group, Giluchex looked to the larger creatures now approaching worried that the one with rough skin and fire would return.

Terish dismounted as he spoke to the small creatures. Giluchex tried to look at them around the mounts and Terish, but instead turned to study the larger versions slowly advancing to the group. The jaws were wide and protruded out as if the creatures were part lizard. The reptile analogy held as one of the larger creatures turned allowing Giluchex to see a thick short tail jut out behind the wide hips. The skin was a dark green with a slightly uneven texture. There was hair where it would be on a human, but it grew as straight shafts and not flowing tresses. Giluchex noted that Terish and Straekin discussed something about sickness.

He dismounted upon the command of his empress, then listened as she tersely spoke in a soft voice. "Okay, Giluchex, we have a situation. You need to be our butler. Track the coming and going of all who pass through the door of that house over there. I need to teach you a couple of things, but just be quiet, learn names, and point when you hear certain names."

"What is the situation, Empress?"

She had him turn and lift his arm as if he would be escorting her. The action annoyed Giluchex in that it was a reported formality of Thiminy, which was very conscious of the separate natures of each gender, and not one of the more equal rules of behavior that existed on Davelda. He still liked being put in a place of superiority over Straekin, so smiled as he followed her directions about where to walk. It further helped his ego to hear her answer his question as she moved at his side.

"This is just a farming community. There is a city nearby, but Cricket Houses are built where strangers can come and go without attracting attention. The locals however see what they will, and usually learn to accept certain things. One member of a local family has come down with a very bad sickness, and to quarantine him they put him in the Cricket House. We need to cure the person. Not just to allow us to rest, but to assure that the Cricket House does not collapse. Terish will then need to restore the magic. We will be berating the locals, working to help the locals, and working to keep certain magicks at stasis. We need you and Kethal out of the way while all this is going on, so each of you are being given jobs."

None of the words helped Giluchex overcome the concern he had. "What are these creatures?"

"They are people, Giluchex. They have lives. They have children, raise them, and die."

"That is not what I meant, and you know it."

"No, Giluchex, it is what you meant. It is not what you wanted. You wanted a name, and maybe some commentary. Well, the commentary is that these people call themselves people, live lives like those we once lived, and are coping with reality as best as possible. As for the name, I already told you that these are people."

Giluchex felt like a child being scolded, but held back any resentment to prevent the lady from truly berating him. "Okay, Empress. I will be polite."

"It will probably take more than being polite, Giluchex, but I know you can do the job. Any commentary, save it for when you see me wearing barely anything and snuggling next to Terish. Until then, we will all probably stay working. The only one allowed to relax is Celatia, and you will probably find her doing things as well."

The man paid attention as Straekin went through a little ritual at a small ornately carved wooden box outside the door. The container had nothing inside, causing Giluchex to wonder if it was used to hold mail or had any connotation to something religious. It definitely did not appear to be electronic or anything having to do with a security system for the hovel.

Once through the door, there was no sign of the house being an abandoned dwelling. A wood paneled wide stairwell with deep risers went down into a large common chamber. Tapestries hung from the walls that appeared to be of a blue marble. Deep furniture was of a very plush material. Exotic objects sat on shelves and small tables.

A creature laid covered by blankets in front of a roaring fireplace tended by what Giluchex could now tell was a youngster. Straekin asked the young lady her name, then turned to have Giluchex repeat it. A number of other names were given to him, along with some identifying features, then he was told to get to work at the door.

Giluchex found himself learning the names of a number of the residents of this world. In the dark of the stairwell they looked very similar at first, but he quickly began to notice differences and associate certain traits with names. While he could not converse with these people, he overheard the lectures, commands, and general comments of Dathol and Terish and began to smile or glare at certain ones. It actually became a rather fun game spotting certain individuals and guessing how to respond before any communication became necessary.

Finally, Giluchex was called down from his station by Straekin and given a glass of wine as a number of people carried out a stretcher upon which was their sick member. He saw others of the local people working to clean the floor and furniture while one nodded his head as he listened to a lecture from Dathol. As Giluchex stopped drinking his wine to actually savor what was being sent down his throat, Straekin told him that he had done well but to help Dathol if required before she turned to leave.

Fantasy puts more requirements on the writer than any other fiction, because the world must be made as real before anything else can be real.
Adult Christian fiction quite different than all the usual lame stuff in that market. "Dilemma of Dreams" now in hard back.
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://www.terishd.com


Number of posts : 1287
Age : 58
Location : Ringgold, Louisiana
Current Mood :
Registration date : 2008-07-21

PostSubject: Part 2   January 20th 2009, 7:50 am

Into the Land of Immortals
Chapter Eleven

Part 2

After finishing his conversation, the holy man poured himself a glass of wine then told Giluchex that there was more work to do. He returned that he hoped it did not involve cleaning. Dathol smiled as he shrugged, then told the man that they needed to go look through the building and resolve whatever they found lacking. Feeling that he would call the natives to do any actual labor, Giuchex agreed.

He found himself rather amazed as Dathol took him through the building checking on other rooms. Giluchex did not realize that the place was so large or luxurious. He double-checked the spacious area that had his luggage, and found himself very pleased with his accommodations. Leaving the room, he felt that one other place needed to be personally inspected, so voiced a question that he hoped could be quickly answered.

"Dathol, where is Straekin going to sleep?"

"Giluchex, she married Terish. Where do you think she is going to sleep?"

The man felt that Dathol did not understand his question. "They both have very recognizable saddlebags. I did not see them in any of the rooms."

"Terish sleeps out with Celatia, Giluchex. That lady is the best protected person in the omniverse." Giluchex did not try to hide the expression of disgust that resulted from the statements, although Dahol's glare of annoyance also showed itself. "That has been going on for decades."

Feeling a need to explain himself, Giluchex said, "But there are good beds."

"Terish is not one to sleep, much less in a bed. I have seen the remnants of his world and heard his stories. Some have called him paranoid, but to know Terish is to learn of one who grew up surviving under very harsh conditions. Ferrigote did not train out those traits, because the anxiety of the young Terish saved them from a number of ambushes."

Giluchex mumbled, "Poor Straekin."

"Trust her, Giluchex. She is happy."

"But not to avail oneself of luxury."

"That is merely someone declaring what they consider important. If all that is important to you is the best, you can never be truly happy."

Instead of scoffing at the adage Giluchex knew that religious people considered themselves superior because they followed such basic statements he turned the discussion to where his empress was presently. He expected to hear that she had already settled in the stables. As he was shown to the kitchen and a table loaded with food, Dathol informed him that she was working with Terish down in the larder to assure that the magicks of the house stayed operating. Understanding that she was still working, Giluchex felt that there were things that he could do as well. Having performed his duty at the front door, then having been taken through the building, the only place that Giluchex could consider that had not yet been checked was the stables. He asked Dathol to show him the way while hoping that no more words of supposed wisdom would be voiced.

The holy man nodded silently at the request, then turned to lead Giluchex into another part of the Cricket House. He found the stables to have wooden floors and the dividers between stalls to be of the same blue marble used in the main part of the house. He looked around amazed that anyone had put such quality into a place for animals. He saw Celatia comfortably standing in a stall while eating some fruit. He declined an offer of a bluish round thing that he considered could be a local variety of plum as he looked to see a spacious clean area with certain saddlebags resting in a corner. Surprised at the quality of the room, he felt like he might have mis-judged the plans of his empress.

"Celatia, are most stables in which you stay this wonderful?"

"No, but Terish does not stay in a city often. I thus normally stay outside, which is where my people tend to spend most of their time. If we do go into a city, Terish pays for whatever quality is available. Luckily, I don't always have to stay out with the other animals. You would be surprised how many places I can enter."

"Including Castle Davelda."

"Yes, anyway, Kethal has been cleaning this place up. If the work inside has finished, I am going inside to clean myself. Cricket Houses normally have a large bathing area for large travelers."

Giluchex gained the impression that Dathol sought to instigate an argument by saying, "Celatia, Giluchex thinks his empress should sleep in a bed."

The centaur looked to Giluchex as she replied, "If Terish was going to stay up, she would. Terish won't sleep on the road however, so he is getting his sleep while he feels safe. Straekin would rather sleep with her husband than alone."

Dathol quickly spoke to further whatever objective he desired, "He still does not feel that Straekin should deny herself any luxury."

"What?" Giluchex had to step back as Celatia advanced toward him while saying, "Look at these clothes. Look at the saddle and my saddlebags. Look at what Straekin wears. Terish has a mountain cavern that is covered with treasure. If I or Straekin wants anything, we can buy it. You cannot buy love however. Terish loves her, and truthfully their bedroll is of exquisite quality."

Feeling to have been made to be a fool by Dathol, Giluchex spoke to correct any wrong assumptions. "Listen, Celatia, I was only surprised that my empress was not availing herself of what comforts were available."

"Like you didn't know, Giluchex. Straekin has been traveling with Terish for decades. She knew Terish even before he rescued my world. Raedell joined Terish, lived, died, and now I travel with Terish. This is not a bad life, but it is not luxury. Terish helps people. Their gratitude is a benefit that no amount of money can duplicate. We go where we can, and enjoy what accommodations are available. What were you thinking about how your empress traveled when with Terish?"

"I did not like even thinking about it."

"Well, glad that you are waking up to reality. There is more that you need to realize, but one step at a time."

Giluchex tried to save face as he retorted, "Don't expect too much. This is my first, and probably only, adventure with Terish."

He again had to step back as the lady advanced. "What? How stupid are you, Giluchex? That was Terdeskollit you faced earlier. He is sending us into a divine realm. This is no mere sneaking into a castle to retrieve some jewel stashed in a vault. It was an adventure like this that enabled Straekin to have children. You are going to someplace that we are not supposed to go, to get something that we are not supposed to have, to take it to someone that does not deserve to have it. You are going to see a lot, Giluchex."

The man did not reply, but looked to the other in the room. Dathol's face beamed with pleasure as he looked at the centaur. His form jerked as he realized that Giluchex was looking at him, but continued to smile as he commented.

"It is her job to have others understand the weight of their own actions. She does it rather well."

Giluchex wanted both to know that he was not reconsidering any of his private beliefs. "Listen, I heard you and Terish mention that the plan is to get permission from these sleeping gods, and that with their permission this mission should be easy. I will be resting back in my apartment in Castle Davelda in no time."

He turned and headed back into the main part of the building. He did not like it when others manipulated him. Giluchex however stopped with memories of having been truly scared earlier, worried that he might become scared again upon seeing the creatures of this world, and realized that he was beyond all the comforts of Davelda. He could not speak to the people he met. He did not know how to return home. He stood frozen in place as he looked around at the wonderful paneling, the soft white light, and the sight of rich ornaments hanging at a distance on the wall. From somewhere within him came a desire to simply go to his room and stay there for eternity. He then heard a laugh that he recognized as the sound of his empress responding to something, and feeling at home he headed to spend some time in her presence.

Giluchex did not know that Straekin could juggle, but she and Terish kept tossing things at each other and flinging them back with wonderful precision. Giluchex expected to find the couple fatigued after hours of traveling, working with the illness, then having to restore any damaged magicks of the residence. They both however had the playful attitude of minor clerks finally hearing that their day of paper shuffling had ended. Giluchex looked to Celatia wondering if the couple would finally collapse when resting in the stall with her, or if their playful attitude would keep her up all night. Whatever the centaur suspected the future might bring, she smiled and laughed with the couple, but instead of being part of the juggling she only set down the items tossed to her.

Straekin served the men, then sat down before her own plate that Terish had filled. Giluchex commented on the quality of the building, then asked the others about their plans for the night. Dathol mentioned going about the house looking for books, but commenting that he found nothing of interest. Kethal said something between bites, but Giluchex assumed from other comments that it was appreciation for the food. To try and get a useful response, he turned to Terish and asked if another Cricket House could be gained for their next resting place. The man chewed and swallowed some food, then answered.

"On the last journey to Derstannon, which ended up with a detour into the world of Terdeskollit, we left through a rarely used portal from the temple of Merkinnist."

Dathol added, "We stayed in a couple of churches. The Church of Kingsport has a portal that puts us on a path to Derstannon. They would be glad to have us visit again."

"Straekin and I have visited since, and received the impression that you had been through."

"Yes, as they are a rather open-minded community. We have differing Gods and beliefs, but it is a good group to debate ideas."

Terish nodded, then poked his fingers at a couple of places in the air declaring one being where they were and the other where the Church of Kingsport was located. Giluchex noted again a flurry of hand movements as possible paths were discussed. Terish then poked his fingers at some points in the air stating that they were Cricket Houses. He, Straekin, and Dathol agreed that no direct path to their destination was available, and an indirect comfortable path was preferable. Terish's hands again made movements as he told Celatia the route for the next day's journey.

Giluchex ate his food with pleasure. He had faced something horrible and survived, then managed to build on the experience toward succeeding at managing another encounter with strange creatures. He now had prevented having to suffer another night of sleeping on the ground. Giluchex felt pride in what he had accomplished, and no fear of what further obstacles would come. He ate feeling like a hero himself.

Fantasy puts more requirements on the writer than any other fiction, because the world must be made as real before anything else can be real.
Adult Christian fiction quite different than all the usual lame stuff in that market. "Dilemma of Dreams" now in hard back.
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://www.terishd.com
Into the Land of Immortals - Chpt 11
Back to top 
Page 1 of 1
 Similar topics
» zombie land vig
» the most expensive USED land rover i have ever seen
» 27 Nov 2011: 3x Axial Wraith 3x Traxxas Summit, Land Rover D90 SCX10 CC01 at Devils Backbone
» Mass Order for D90 Land Rover Body
» Crusader Knight in the Holy Land (Pegaso 54mm)

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
 :: The Pennings (Writer's Forum) :: The Scrawler's Workplace-
Jump to: