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Is the phrase "Once upon a time..."
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Monthly Writing Prompt
For this month's writing prompt write a scene using the following sentence to start;

The streets were deserted. Where was everyone? Where had they all gone?

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Look Back

When not able to write ahead, it helps to look back. In my case I had written a paragraph ahead of the story. What I needed to do was add a section of exposition (talking) presenting some facts. In going back, I realized that I could insert a section where a 'tour' of the surroundings could be done. This allowed for character interaction, story development, and other things that enabled me to present the facts in an entertaining manner.

One should not face a writer's block with the mentality of bursting through it. I have found in my own experience that a writer's block is usually due to my mind indicating that it has a problem in 'channeling' the story. One reason might be a re-imagining of certain story points. Another reason however is that there is a problem in where you are at in the story, so you need to look back and find out the problem with the 'journey' that prevents the tale from advancing.

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 Super Cool

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Number of posts : 13
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Registration date : 2009-01-11

PostSubject: Super Cool   January 19th 2009, 10:58 pm

one of my latest works >.<

but i'm not really a writer, sorry for the huge mess lol.

i'm sure you'll find many to correct here

Super Cool
The other girl

Chapter 1
The new Guy

Jessica Fatherland blond, big boobs, prom queen and everyone’s idol, she’s definitely not me,” Move!” She has great people skills, and everyone respects her for that.

In a sea of people, I’m the person you’d see behind her, “Excuse me…” the one nobody ever notices, “Hurry up Brit!”

Yes, that’s me, Brittany Murphy, and for the next five seconds you’d completely forget my name. I weight about 200 pounds, with thick curly hair and crossed eye brows.

Ok, I over exaggerated a bit, I don’t have thick curly hair and crossed eye brows, but you get the point, I’m not your pretty girl.

“Brit?! What on earth?!” Jessica and I aren’t really friends, it’s a love hate thing between us, she hates me, but like they say, beautiful girls always, ALWAYS keeps an ugly side kick.

And I actually find my self lucky to have such an aggressive hero.

“Damn it people, let her through!!” Just then there, I thought I fainted, and I was right, “You okay Brit?”

Slapping me, yes, she slaps me, I jolt back into reality “Girl, you fainted on me!” Raising an eye brow she stomps her left heel, it was exactly the shoe I wanted which I told her about, she has this amusement of seeing me in pain.

“Were gonna be late hideous!” she’s a bitch, but I like things as they are.

With her beside me, or the other way around, no one notices me, for I’m always just the shadow of the great Jessica Fatherland. “Yes sorry about that Jess.”

I was actually laying lifeless on the school corridors, and no one gives a damn, I really am invisible, but then he came a long. “Is she alright?”
Hearing a guys voice I kept my eyes closed and just laid there, and waited for that voice to vanish “Why isn’t she standing up?”

But something’s wrong, Jessica is not talking back, is she gone, did she leave me here? But who is this voice talking to, or referring to, did I die.

Moving a finger it confirmed I’m alive, “Uhm, she’s okay, she’s just weird that way. Anyway, walk me to my next class?”

That bitch!! She’s actually flirting at my moment of need, oh wait, I’m not really in need, but you get the point.

“I don’t think it’s normal for someone to just lay on the floor like this.” Awww, his too cute, if only he was a puppy, then we’d live happily ever after.

But I prefer to stay invisible so, wait, someone’s lifting me, “Oh my, put her down, I’m sure she’ll be better off on the floor than being… carried like that.”

Oh my God… He is carrying me, and I couldn’t grow more lifeless than I already am, I feel like I’m on clod nine, wait I’m not supposed to be liking this, I’m supposed to be in panic, people might stare, maybe I should open an eye.

NO way, people are staring, how tall is he anyway, six, six-two something, I feel like I’m lacking oxygen here.

Just like that my initial reaction was, “Put me down! Put me down!”

I was kicking and screaming like a little girl being forced to see a dentist, I think I accidentally pulled some of his hair out, “OK, putting you down now.”

What a gentle man, I think I’m in love, if only here were a puppy.

So he placed me down, but I still had my eyes shut, “So, I’m Jessica by the way, I noticed your new here, you want a tour?”

Stealing the spotlight once more, Jessica moves, but everyone’s attention was focused on me, “You okay now?”

The impossible happened that day, the day everyone saw me before Jessica Fatherland.

I could almost imagine Jessica green eyeing me, I bet she’s jealous to the gut, I bet she wants to drag me away and, “Brit, lets go!”

My timing was perfect, I knew she’d drag me away at that point, she’d want the attention back all to her self.

I really like her, were perfect for each other in some sense, she wants attention and I hate it, we both have nothing to do with each other, but still we are each others only friends.

We grew up together, are parents hate each other though, mainly cause of discrimination and other stuff, but we ended up being neighbors, so we had to had to get along.

“The nerve right?” sitting down on her sit, chatting me I was still speechless with what just occurred, I mean it’s the most romantic thing in my life, since my Mom met dad.

It’s hear threatening, my heart could be in serious danger.

“I mean carrying the poor you in front of all those people, who does he think he is.”

I know exactly what she’s saying from what she is not, she’s deceitful, and that’s why were friends.

Cause I am to, in someway, were also each others mirrors.

“Earth to Brit, are you still with us?”

I was gonna answer her but Prof. Andrew just walked in, that’s his real name, but he wants us to call him Sam, so we indeed call him Sam.

He looks like Julia Roberts with a bad nose job, plus he is a guy, but I’m not really sure about his sexual preference, sometimes he looks like Heath Ledger, but then comes days like this, when he looks like Julia.

Sam is my favorite Professor, mainly cause he/she knows how to make an entrance, plus I love his/her weird fashion sense, its always a must see.

Every single day, new clothes, I bet he/she has different underwear’s he can’t show as well.

No repeats for him/her, there was this one time that he/she came to school with green hair, he/she looked hot on that velvet coat and tight leather jeans, I had numerous fantasies of us walking into a room filled with a packed crowd, kissing and doing other stuff I cant dictate, but that’s just once, I have no idea what I was thinking back then, just because of those tight leather jeans I grew wild.

Anyway, he’s/she’s back for a new school year, I guess they couldn’t get rid of him/her.

“Ok class, we have a new student who would be joining us this school year.”

I always have bad luck when it’s the first day of classes, when I was a fresh man, a year ago to be precise, there was a new student who transferred, he was as thin as a lizard, and was sited in front of me, he was tall, thin, wore glasses and had more pimples than skin.

The weird thing is he farted a lot, I wonder where he got all those unwanted farts.

That was last year, lucky for me were not at the same class anymore, but shoot, this year the vacant seat is beside me again, what should I do?

Not again, this is not happening to me, please God, let there be another vacant seat.

“Ok, here’s our new Student Craig Heartnetted.”

Its strange how his last name sounded, it sound like an invented last name.

Looking over at him, he looked like you typical hot jock Jessica dates and drops for a week.

Boring if you ask me, I prefer lizard boy and Leather Jeans Sam more than jocks who think they’re so cool, like look at me, I’m a big jerk with all my foot ball friends.

“Oh my God, its him.”

Him? Like who him?

“Him?” I asked in all confusing, how many him could there be in this girls life, I mean, they get longer by the second.

“aww, hun, not another one of your exes?”

Well it seems like it, she looks deeply annoyed and distressed, most of her ex’s follows her around like a lost puppy, and they really are lost, they come from all different and strange places.

Sometimes, I even wonder how she picks them up, and then just drops them when she’s done with them.

“No silly, he’s the guy who picked you up Hideous”

Him? A jock?

He was actually sweet and caring, and not Jessica’s ex?

I must be in the twilight zone, this is too good to be true, come to think of it, I almost forgot that the vacant seat is right beside me no fucking way, NO!

I wouldn’t seat next to him, I refuse the attention.

“Switch with me!”

Asking for a favor, Jessica saves me, hurry, save me my hero, I’m your loyal side kick.

But shoot, he already saw me, I cant move, I’m like a frozen Brit popsicle, kinda like the fake paralyzed one earlier this day.

“This seat taken?”

He was such a gentleman indeed, “It depends on what seat you’re referring too”

Jessica and her flirting, its unbelievable where this girl gets all her strength.

“Sorry I’m late!”

But! NO, heck NO!

“Ohh… it seems like there’s a mistake.”

What on earth is lizard boy doing here?

“Hey Brit, how was your Vacation?”

He was talking to me like were friends, and quite frankly I’m to sic of his farting and pimple popping to even think about my vacation I wanna have again.

“looks like Mr. Heartnetted is on the wrong class after all”

I love Sam, but why does this things always happen to me? I’m always the one with a vacant seat beside me, I guess it has something to do with my invisibility.

“Sorry girls” Sam loves teasing the girls, mainly cause I think he has this middle aged man frustration for love and sexuality, but still cute non the less.

Leather Sam, please seat Lizard boy to the class next door.

At least now I know the name of the boy who stole Jessica’s spot light, the one who carried the other girl and ignored THE girl.

Craig Heartnetted…

Looks like this year’s gonna be a huge pain…
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PostSubject: Reply   January 19th 2009, 11:14 pm

Accepting it as a colloquial style of presentation (that means not professional, but more as a 'native speaker'), it does come across rather well. I did get a sense of character and setting. I did get a sense of the emotion and interaction. I thus have to give you some credit. Keep it up.

Fantasy puts more requirements on the writer than any other fiction, because the world must be made as real before anything else can be real.
Adult Christian fiction quite different than all the usual lame stuff in that market.  "Dilemma of Dreams" now in hard back.
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PostSubject: Re: Super Cool   January 20th 2009, 9:49 am

Not my type of thing to read, but it was believable.

In that regard I really liked it.

Well done.
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