PortalHomeGalleryFAQSearchMemberlistUsergroupsRegisterLog in
Log in
Username:
Password:
Log in automatically: 
:: I forgot my password
Poll
Is the phrase "Once upon a time..."
Overused
33%
 33% [ 1 ]
Underused
67%
 67% [ 2 ]
Total Votes : 3
Monthly Writing Prompt
For this month's writing prompt write a scene using the following sentence to start;

The streets were deserted. Where was everyone? Where had they all gone?

Writing Tip
Our monthly writing tips are written by our very own TerishD. You can read more in Terish's Blog located in "The Abstractions" area of the forum.

Look Back

When not able to write ahead, it helps to look back. In my case I had written a paragraph ahead of the story. What I needed to do was add a section of exposition (talking) presenting some facts. In going back, I realized that I could insert a section where a 'tour' of the surroundings could be done. This allowed for character interaction, story development, and other things that enabled me to present the facts in an entertaining manner.

One should not face a writer's block with the mentality of bursting through it. I have found in my own experience that a writer's block is usually due to my mind indicating that it has a problem in 'channeling' the story. One reason might be a re-imagining of certain story points. Another reason however is that there is a problem in where you are at in the story, so you need to look back and find out the problem with the 'journey' that prevents the tale from advancing.

Latest topics
» first light of dawn
Today at 5:52 am by oskar

» favourite novelists
Yesterday at 5:31 am by oskar

» And Evil Did Exist: TimeSagaD5 (5 of 6)
December 16th 2017, 7:54 am by TerishD

» coffee is latte now
December 16th 2017, 5:19 am by oskar

» the Russians are coming
December 15th 2017, 5:47 am by oskar

Top posters
oskar (2193)
 
TerishD (1244)
 
HYdraMStar (1170)
 
Kellycakes (1136)
 
Snacker (818)
 
Urs (569)
 
fleamailman (400)
 
Leaka (334)
 
JuJu (287)
 
alexandra (198)
 

Share | 
 

 My First Day at Seminary - 1233 words

View previous topic View next topic Go down 
AuthorMessage
Urs


avatar

Number of posts : 569
Location : Corner of Insane Ave & Stupid St. in the State of Denial
Current Mood :
Registration date : 2008-09-23

PostSubject: My First Day at Seminary - 1233 words   January 27th 2009, 11:34 pm

Note: I hope you all enjoy this and I welcome any and all advice and corrections that you can offer me.

My First Day at Seminary

Seminary school is like any other school, just in a very large building that looks like a fortress and, more to the point, filled with a bunch of people that say “God be with you,” while they give you looks like they want to do you physical harm. There might be some truth to that, but I was not about to test it.

While we filed into the classroom there stood our new task master, I mean teacher… well, instructor: Father Marshal, which was not his real name, but that did not matter. You see, there was a reason why we called him Father Marshal, even if he called himself Father Roy. You see, he had that perfect pose for a good priest, standing almost six foot two with a large barrel chest and a gut that was just large enough to make him look like a stone pillar staring at us. Yah, it was those eyes that were the best feature, small, black and piercing, like he was looking into your soul, stamping it with a big red “rejected” mark.

As we quietly took our seats and moved our Bibles out in front of ourselves, Father Marshal smiled, which almost made us flee in panic at the sight of what could only be a smile on the face of the apocalypse. “Welcome to your first day of symbolism in writing.”

His voice, however, was soft as he spoke. He knitted his fingers together, and then almost skipped to his desk as if giddy. Yah, we all met Father Roy before, at orientation, when he told us what the rules were on the campus and that he would be watching us, watching us, watching us. And yes, as a matter of fact he did say it several times as he eyed us closer and closer, so the idea of this force of existence seemingly happy could not bode well on any level. He quickly pulls out the Good Book and flipped it open like a master painter sliding a brush across canvas. I have never been more intimidated by a book being opened in my life.

“Richard, come here,” he called as he pointed to the boy in the first row who I think puked on himself a bit as he tried to rise in his seat. That, my friend, is the precise reason why I never take front row, just so you know. I never take the back either, the safe spot is the middle rows, closer to the front so you are close enough to know what is going on, but far away enough to avoid being a causality of a teachers sadistic joy.

Richard trembles as he walks over to the book that Father Marshal is holding, Psalms I think, could be Proverbs. I’ll find out soon enough while he is making Richard pay his blood debt in real blood. “Could you please tell me what is written between Psalms seventeen eight and seventeen nine”

I watch Richard glance back and forth a bit, and I can almost imagine seeing him pass out. Irony is Richard is taller then Father Marshal, albeit a lot skinnier. It is some surreal effect to see a man like Marshal made to look like the proverbial short fat friar under the hunching and sweating Richard.

Richard lets out several mumbling “huh”s and “uhh”s I think I heard an “ahh…” in there as well and I dying to hear what is written between Psalms 17:8 and 17:9. I quietly slide my Bible out of my desk and go to try and look it up myself. Father Marshal holds his pointing stick like it is the Centurion’s spear and we are the heart of Jesus. “If I see a Bible on anyone’s desk you will be failed.” he announces like it is holy decree of God speaking.

After Richard starts to turn red, Father Marshal seems to deflate a bit and gives the boy a knowing nod and pats him on the back, “What is written there, right between the lines? Do you see it?” he asks now in almost serene, comforting words.

Richard looks like he is about to pass out, but stumbles out the words, “There is na..nothing there.”

Father Marshal nods and gives Richard a smile. “Go sit down son.” he says, and for the first time I see the indomitable priest looking like he is a human. After Richard has found his seat and relearned how to breath again, I see the death visage return to the Marshal’s eyes.

“Make note of that class, there is nothing written between the lines,” Then his eyes scorch us all as he paces across the room “Do any of you know why nothing is written between the lines of text?” He asks now, a mocking challenge before, a duel to the death against the hardest instructor on campus… on the first day. I’ll pass on that.

Father Marshal does not give us the time to find our voice, but then again, if he did, I would wager we would all die of old age before that happened. “Because my dear class, if something was written there, it would be a line of text, not the empty space between them.” His eyes grow dark as he stops moving and just lets his gaze fall across the classroom. “So, when you, or shall I say, IF you, decide to read this book…” he pauses, slamming the Bible on the heavy oak desk, making a thunderous boom that I swear must have blown out ever car window from here to china (and I am not ashamed to admit that I think I wet myself a bit from that) “…You will need to learn to read the text that is written, not the little blank areas between them. That concludes your very first lesson in how to read the symbolism in the Bible. Class dismissed.”

We all sit there like stone statues, just dumb struck. I am not sure if it is because we did not believe our ears or that we are just too sacred to move. He was dismissing the class after only grilling us for less then five minuets. I suppose it was five minuets, I think I lost a pound of sweat just watching the display.

“I said…” the voice breaks into us like a hammer smashing a crystal chalice, you can almost hear the fractures forming “…Class dismissed.” as he finishes the last line we all jump up and rush out the room. A strange feeling rushes over me that I am glad the class is over, but at the same time I am only leaving because I am too scared to stay. As I get outside I feel strangely robbed of the joy of a short class, but by the time I see how pale I look in the mirror, I think he let us go because he felt pity on us.

But after all things said and done, I have to hand it to Father Roy, in less time then it takes me to eat lunch he drove a lesson home that would last a lifetime.

Man I love this place. I clutch my Bible close to my chest feeling elated and head off to meet Father Patrick, whom the other Students here lovingly call “The Judge”.
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://protagonist2antagonist.wordpress.com/
TerishD


avatar

Male
Number of posts : 1244
Age : 58
Location : Ringgold, Louisiana
Current Mood :
Registration date : 2008-07-21

PostSubject: Reply   January 28th 2009, 7:59 am

Ah, so Father Roy is a literalist. Being a science/math guy, I like literalists. I however have learned to watch for pseudo-literalists - those that take verses from various places to attempt to make some point (such as "Then Judas went out and hanged himself," "Go thou and do likewise"). A true literalists takes sections of text to assure understanding of what is there, then goes to other sections of text to assure understanding of what is there, THEN begins to associate meanings. Those instructors can be boring, but for those that follow his progression a very good interpretation can be discovered.

_________________
Fantasy puts more requirements on the writer than any other fiction, because the world must be made as real before anything else can be real.
Adult Christian fiction quite different than all the usual lame stuff in that market.  "Dilemma of Dreams" now in hard back.
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://www.terishd.com
Urs


avatar

Number of posts : 569
Location : Corner of Insane Ave & Stupid St. in the State of Denial
Current Mood :
Registration date : 2008-09-23

PostSubject: Re: My First Day at Seminary - 1233 words   January 28th 2009, 9:59 am

I suppose. (Trying to dodge any discussion on Dogma or Religion as it has been my fate that they never go well)

Any advice on the work itself?
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://protagonist2antagonist.wordpress.com/
TerishD


avatar

Male
Number of posts : 1244
Age : 58
Location : Ringgold, Louisiana
Current Mood :
Registration date : 2008-07-21

PostSubject: Reply   January 28th 2009, 6:02 pm

Urs wrote:
I suppose. (Trying to dodge any discussion on Dogma or Religion as it has been my fate that they never go well)

Any advice on the work itself?
Well, you might have posted it here, but I never considered it fiction. I considered it a journal entry, and replied as if it were a journal entry. I thus did not read it with a need to critique. I guess then my advice would be - have it read as if it were a piece of narrative fiction.

_________________
Fantasy puts more requirements on the writer than any other fiction, because the world must be made as real before anything else can be real.
Adult Christian fiction quite different than all the usual lame stuff in that market.  "Dilemma of Dreams" now in hard back.
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://www.terishd.com
HYdraMStar


avatar

Female
Number of posts : 1170
Age : 39
Location : Charlotte, NC
Current Mood :
Registration date : 2008-07-20

PostSubject: Re: My First Day at Seminary - 1233 words   January 28th 2009, 6:20 pm

What? You thought it was non-fiction? Really? Even if I didn't know Urs I would have never assumed it anything of the such.

Now, Urs, I thought it was very well written and the character were well developed and the scene was clear, but I found the whole storyline to be a little sitcomish or maybe even a dramatic comedy. I can't really say why, maybe it is the way you painted the scene, but as such I think it would make a great opening scene for such a program. Now rather or not that's a good thing is a matter of opinion and personal taste.
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://www.hydramstar.blogspot.com
Urs


avatar

Number of posts : 569
Location : Corner of Insane Ave & Stupid St. in the State of Denial
Current Mood :
Registration date : 2008-09-23

PostSubject: Re: My First Day at Seminary - 1233 words   January 28th 2009, 8:06 pm

TerishD wrote:
Well, you might have posted it here, but I never considered it fiction. I considered it a journal entry, and replied as if it were a journal entry.

Wow, thank you! That is very high praise in my book. The fact that it did not sound like fiction, which is something that when writing fiction is very hard to hit correctly.

I am very honored by the fact that I did not sound corny and that I made the situation feel and seem real.

HYdraMStar wrote:
What? You thought it was non-fiction? Really? Even if I didn't know Urs I would have never assumed it anything of the such.

Now, Urs, I thought it was very well written and the character were well developed and the scene was clear, but I found the whole storyline to be a little sitcomish or maybe even a dramatic comedy. I can't really say why, maybe it is the way you painted the scene, but as such I think it would make a great opening scene for such a program. Now rather or not that's a good thing is a matter of opinion and personal taste.

Thanks. Dramatic Comedy, was exactly what I was shooting for.

Good advice as well. Yah it does seem to be a "Stage One" it was meant to be a like a stand alone, but I can see how it would also be a good 'opening' to something larger, as you put it, a sitcom or a series. Good idea. I'll let that simmer in my mind-pot for a bit.
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://protagonist2antagonist.wordpress.com/
Calliopenjo


avatar

Female
Number of posts : 11
Age : 48
Location : A place with tumble weeds, scorpions, and the roach brigade.
Current Mood :
Registration date : 2009-03-01

PostSubject: Re: My First Day at Seminary - 1233 words   March 2nd 2009, 1:04 am

Hi there,

First let me say this. I am in no way a professional. Everything stated is strictly my opinion taken from a reader's POV. Keep it. Toss it. It's up to you.

I started reading your story, and to me it felt as if it's a long read. I understood the words, but could not get a visual. Maybe try to show why you thought Father Marshal was a task master. What was it that made you think that? Start from there. I think if concentration is made on describing who, what, when, where, etc. leaving the reader to interpret, I think it might be a little less long of a read.
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://www.myspace.com/calliopenjo
Sponsored content




PostSubject: Re: My First Day at Seminary - 1233 words   

Back to top Go down
 
My First Day at Seminary - 1233 words
View previous topic View next topic Back to top 
Page 1 of 1
 Similar topics
-
» Bingo!!! Pick your words here!
» Bingo - Pick your words here...
» GAME: Combo Words
» Two words joined together to make one word
» GAME: Combo Words, Part II

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
 :: The Pennings (Writer's Forum) :: The Scrawler's Workplace-
Jump to: