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For this month's writing prompt write a scene using the following sentence to start;

The streets were deserted. Where was everyone? Where had they all gone?

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Our monthly writing tips are written by our very own TerishD. You can read more in Terish's Blog located in "The Abstractions" area of the forum.

Look Back

When not able to write ahead, it helps to look back. In my case I had written a paragraph ahead of the story. What I needed to do was add a section of exposition (talking) presenting some facts. In going back, I realized that I could insert a section where a 'tour' of the surroundings could be done. This allowed for character interaction, story development, and other things that enabled me to present the facts in an entertaining manner.

One should not face a writer's block with the mentality of bursting through it. I have found in my own experience that a writer's block is usually due to my mind indicating that it has a problem in 'channeling' the story. One reason might be a re-imagining of certain story points. Another reason however is that there is a problem in where you are at in the story, so you need to look back and find out the problem with the 'journey' that prevents the tale from advancing.

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 How am I doing Terisha?

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PostSubject: How am I doing Terisha?   May 29th 2009, 6:56 am

I took your criticisn seriously, and hopefully by now, my writings have improved. I'm currently on this chapter, and would like to see what you think of it so far! it's just a snippet, I'm less concerned about what you'd make of the story as i am the quality.
Hit my with your literate stick please pen-master!



XXV

GONE

I

‘That dirty thieving scoundrel, I knew it!’ Cyprian boomed.

It was morning. The nondescript autumn sun rose to meet the tree-lines; the crowns of which swayed in a chilling wind carried forth by a troubled sea. Cyprian paced back and forth in a heated rage around the campsite. Lucien was nowhere to be seen. Neither was the gemstone.

‘That thieving bastard,’ Cyprian continued, ‘I knew he weren’t to be trusted! I knew it! You should never trust a Human, never!’

Alyssa was roused from sleep by the hullabaloo. She rubbed her dreary eyes and tried desperately to fathom the old man’s ranting and ravings. She looked around the camp and immediately heeded Lucien’s absence. He seemed to have left in a rush, his bag was gone, yet his blanket and a few other items still rested by the charred remains of last night’s fire.

‘What’s going on? Where is Lucien?’ Alyssa asked.

Cyprian didn’t seem to register her queries. Instead, he just continued his tirade. Alyssa wasn’t even sure if he’d clocked her wakeful attention. ‘I knew I shouldn’t have trusted him,’ he said, pacing back and forth relentlessly. ‘I felt it clear as day. This is what happens when you surrender to reason and display guilt and compassion, people will walk all over you. I should have killed him when I first laid eyes on him. How dare he do this to me! I can’t believe he took the gemstone, of all the things!’ he bellowed, kicking an assortment of cooking utensils that lay in his stride.

Alyssa couldn’t believe it. Lucien had stolen the gem they recovered from Nazrael? How could he? Something was very out of place with this picture; it didn’t seem right at all. He wouldn’t of. Not after all they’d been through. Would he?

Aside from Lucien’s apparent hasty exit, she also noticed something else. It wasn’t simply anger that marred Cyprian’s physiognomy, it was humiliation. She had stayed awake long into last night, only pretending to be asleep, and caught their lengthy exchange. It was the first time she’d heard Cyprian speak so humble and sincere with anybody he disliked, especially somebody of Lucien’s heritage. It must have been difficult for him to overshadow his obstinacy the way he did. Then to wake and discover everything he’d thought about the boy had been accurate. In truth, after everything that happened between them, all the secrets and lies, she felt a little sorry for him.

Meanwhile, Cyprian kept up his onslaught. ‘This is what I get for placing trust in a Human. How folly of me, to place trust in a worthless thief!’ He bellowed the last word, causing Alyssa to flinch as he kicked out, his big, muddy boot connecting with a cooking pot, sending it hurtling into a tree with a muffled thud.

Whilst his hubbub persisted, Alyssa noticed something towards the west. It was boot prints leading away from the camp and into the woods. In his blind rage Cyprian must have missed them. She got up and walked towards them, deciding not to trouble him with her findings. She thought it more than a trifle odd that Lucien would head into the woodland after pocketing the gem, and not fleeing the way they had come, back towards Mainland. To the west, past the sprouting woodland, sheer cliffs rose far above any safe heights to attempt a climb. Whatever the boy had hoped to find there, it sure wouldn’t be the way home. Something was afoot, and she was determined to find out what. She left Cyprian to his juxtaposition of rage and humility, and set off on Lucien’s trail.

The flora was dense and unidentifiable, but enchanting nonetheless. The trees were dark yet rich in colour, the leaves of which still departing, creating a shallow, auburn carpet beneath her feet. The cold winds conveyed the bitter whiff of damp earth, leaf, and bark - amalgamated with saltiness contributed by the eastern seafront - as it bobbed and weaved through the seasonal droppings, picking up the looser, dryer leaves, and carrying them to new places of rest. Alyssa thought the scene carried a certain poetic potency; the woodland portraying beauty and grace as it declines towards winter where it would succumb to a state of death; the first stage of rebirth commencing after the Winter Solstice, when the grip of night begins to wane. Fortunately for Alyssa, Lucien’s footfalls had forged a trail of holes in the fallen leaves, defined enough to trace his direction without too much complication.
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PostSubject: Reply   May 29th 2009, 9:13 am

Hey, this is good. There are a few errors (marked below), but a very entertaining read. My one other problem can be ignored, as I don't believe this is the beginning of the story. You really do not describe your characters, even though you work at length to use well-chosen adjectives on everything else. If this is an event later in the story, as I believe, then the descriptions would have already been done.

I knew he weren’t to be trusted!
I is singular, so it should be WASN'T. However, this was a quoted statement, and if the person talks that way then it can be allowed (but that means you must repeat this error with this character).

She rubbed her dreary eyes
DREARY? 'dull, without cheer, gloomy, depressing'
I would not say this is the proper adjective. Attempting to find the right word here actually does not work. They are not tired or heavy, as she just woke up. Generally, some descriptive phrase is necessary (ex. "She rubbed her blue eyes in an attempt to get them into action focusing on the world around her in order to start solving the problems of the new day.").

It wasn’t simply anger that marred Cyprian’s physiognomy, it was humiliation.
Two complete sentences, so it should be a semi-colon between them.

He bellowed the last word, causing Alyssa to flinch as he kicked out, his big, muddy boot connecting with a cooking pot, sending it hurtling into a tree with a muffled thud.
First problem is that this is a long multi-part sentence. Break it down. The second that bothered me was that he just kicked a metal cooking pot, probably wrought iron, and registered no pain. Get out a cooking pot, even one of our new light-metal things, and kick it.

Talk about long multi-part sentences, that last paragraph has a big one. Break that thing down.

You are definitely on the right track. Note that you are not going to win, but by persistence you can overcome. While my wording was 'awkward,' they (future publishers) will complain about your use of certain descriptive terms. Quoting one of Kellycakes posts -

florid verbs. "The car grumbled its way to the curb" is on the verge of being so colorful it's distracting. {Florid fr. Lat. floreo, to flower.}

If a manuscript looks as if it's sprouted leaves and branches, if every verb is "unusual," if the vocabulary is more interesting than the story … fix it by going to more ordinary verbs. There are vocabulary-addicts who will praise your prose for this but not many who can simultaneously admire your verbs as verbs and follow your story, especially if it has content. The car is not a main actor and not one you necessarily need to make into a character. If its action should be more ordinary and transparent, don't use an odd expression. This is prose.

This statement also goes for unusual descriptions and odd adjectives, nouns, and adverbs.


I truthfully thought that you mostly picked good descriptive words. I thus would work at perfecting this style and ignoring those that speak against it. The world needs more good writing, and less pablum.

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PostSubject: Re: How am I doing Terisha?   May 29th 2009, 10:10 am

Wow, you've made my year <3

It's chapter 25, descriptions have been done long ago. I am not far from the end, which will be an accomplishment however the quality will be before i go into hyper-edit mode.

Yep, dreary was a bit poor lol, I will hunt the perfect word down if it kills me!

Thanks for giving me the time, and everything you have to offer goes back with me into my cooking pot for future use.

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PostSubject: Reply   May 29th 2009, 5:49 pm

Hey, I can be nice.

Truthfully, though, remember that I am fighting the same fight you are. I might be further along in the game, so have some experience to share, but I am also trying to get my writings recognized by those with power. I might sound cruel at times, but I am simply using the tone that I feel is necessary to get certain lessons across (or the tone I needed to have certain lessons sink in). I really wish you well.

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PostSubject: Re: How am I doing Terisha?   May 29th 2009, 6:29 pm

I thought i'd post the rest of the scene I wrote today, just to conclude it Very Happy

A few times Lucien’s trail turned funny. Every now and then, the footfalls she followed unfurled in more than one direction. He’d undoubtedly gone one way, and then for whatever reason doubled back, before heading a different way.

She hadn’t got far when the auburn-covered underbrush became a wild tangle of brambles, thorns, and bushes, and the broader flora a thicket. Small animals ducked quickly beneath the covert as she drew near, startled into the safety-seeking haste by her footfalls; re-emerging only once she’d passed by. Alyssa sensed them watching, and cast an eye back towards the crowd. She had acquired a modestly sized audience: squirrels, rats, badgers, hedgehogs; all of which had their heads poked out from the various entangled flora. With their concealment momentarily broken they watched, and not long after catching sight of Alyssa looking back, pulled themselves back into the thicket.

It was saddening being this close to the local fauna, yet so far away from it at the same time. She missed life in Cobbington. She missed the flora and fauna of the Broadheart Wood. She missed the marketplace and Edna. She missed Drake, and she also found herself missing the man she once knew as her Uncle. Only the gods knew how much she’d lost on this quest, and she was damned sure Lucien wasn't going to leave without an explanation. She’d trusted him more than most recently, and although she had refused to admit it to herself until now, she was attracted to him, in ways she never thought possible. She would rather die than let him egress from her life without giving him a piece of her aching mind. She’d demand to know where he thought he was going with the gem that Drake died for. And the answer had better be good, for his sake.

Tears had begun to gloss her sclera, gradually easing over her lower eyelids, and washing her cheeks in rivulets. She wiped them away with the backs of her hands, and continued on the trail.

The paths led this way and that, past more junctions and crossroads imprinted with yet more multiple trails, past more thickets and brambles, and past more ever watchful, ever curious animalia. Eventually, she turned a blind bend cut deep into the thicket only to discover the thief with his back turned towards her. Hearing her approach he turned looking troubled and lost. Above all else he resembled the boy she’d grown fond of, which sparked anger within her. She opened her mouth to speak but the bag Lucien held in front of him left her with a mute bewilderment.
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PostSubject: Reply   May 30th 2009, 12:13 am

Okay, COVERT where there should be COVER. That whole paragraph with the animals just did not work. I don't know if you were going for Disney or playing off Alyssa's personality (developed earlier?). Anyway, I would work on it further should you consider it worth keeping.

What I really wanted to comment upon was length. This complete section is 1266 words. You say that this is the 25th chapter. Assuming most chapters are this length, that makes your manuscript only over 30,000 words. Now I saw the Roman numeral I, so having your chapters multiple parts could give you a larger word count. Just letting you know that in checking with publishers before gaining my agent, I noticed that they were wanting 80,000+ novels (a little higher than I expected, probably due to the success of Harry Potter). If you are like me, you find yourself needing to add text while editing. I tend to need to add that description that I fuss at other people about, which is why I catch such details - because I know to look for it in my own work. Don't be afraid of adding. If it needs it, it needs it, and the extra words actually can make your manuscript better.

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PostSubject: Re: How am I doing Terisha?   May 30th 2009, 4:44 am

thats the 1st scene of the chapter, there is 2 more parts, which will complete the chapter. The next part is set to be a bit longer as I am adding a bit of back story to Cyprian's character as Alyssa learnt something terrible about him. And I also like leaving an unanswered question in between parts, hopefully build some mystery.

One of my chapters has 14,544 words, they are all broken down into sub chapters. Only one I believe is under 2,500 and that was a small scene at the end of part one where the antagonist comes into being. Apart from that they all vary in length, some around 2,500 and some a lot more. In fact, when I get time I will open them all up and tally up the word count just out of curiosity.

Covert can be used as a noun meaning thicket or undergrowth in which game can shelter or hide. Wink

The animals were semi-related to Alyssa's character, and I hoped it also gave character to the woods as well. But hey, if it don't work it don't work. lol

I think I can manage more than 80,000 in fact, I believe I might be near that mark already. I originally had another 5 chapters earlier on which I decided weren't relevant at that time, and would be more suited when the character makes his appearance in the final battle. I'm always chopping and changing things lol
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PostSubject: Re: How am I doing Terisha?   May 30th 2009, 5:14 am

So far I have over 100,000 words, with a minimum of 12 chapters to go. The final battle is set to be long as 5 different characters have parts in it, and some loose ends will be tied etc so a lot more words to come. BUT, I already know I will be cutting a lot of stuff out of the story once I go back to edit, so its just as well I've tallied up a high-ish word count already. My longest chapters are just too long in my eyes, and need to have some serious trimming done, or at minimum broken down into separate, smaller chapters. And some chapters I might just cut completely to help the flow of the story. And I already have 1 or 2 complete chapter rewrites in mind as well. The editing process will be long but I'm looking forward to it Very Happy
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PostSubject: Re: How am I doing Terisha?   May 31st 2009, 9:15 am

Okay, I am posting this simply to complete the chapter. Feel free to dismantle as you see fit. This chapter is the end of part three, and obviously leaves a question at the end ready for part four.

II

Cyprian had continued cursing the thief long after Alyssa wandered off into the woodland. His face had gone a shade of beetroot, and spittle lined the corners of his mouth. Eventually he heeded the tracks, and with a snarl he unsheathed his sword, and went to trail the boy. He would claim a pound of flesh when he caught up with him! That’s when something caught his eye towards the south of the camp, something that broke his malice, and demanded his full attention. His eyes widened with disbelief.

‘What in Gaia’s name . . .’

III

The bag Lucien held in front of him was open for the world to see. At first, Alyssa saw something with a reddish glow, and she immediately thought of the gem. However, on further inspection, she made out different colours: black, red, green, blue, and brown. It dawned on her soon after what it was she was looking at. It was fruit, and lots of it. Blackberries, blueberries, cram apples, Raspberries, and hazelnuts brimmed inside the bag. Alyssa felt troubled.

‘I don’t understand, where is the gem Lucien?’ she demanded.

It was Lucien’s turned to portray bewilderment. ‘What are you talking about? What gem?’

He raised his eyebrows as if finally understanding the question, tightened his grip on the bag with his right arm, and plunged his left into his pocket, and retrieving the vessel. ‘You mean this gem?’ he held it out for her to see.

Alyssa shook her head in frustration. ‘No. The gem from Nazrael Lucien, the one you stole from Cyprian whilst he slept. The same gem that Drake gave his life for. What were you thinking Lucien? Where is it?’ Her tone was stained with anguish.

Lucien, placing the vessel back into his pocket, screwed his face up as if in disbelief of her accusations, and responded with a tone close to that of desperation. ‘I have no idea what you are talking about! I got up just before dawn and came into this forest to collect some fruit and nuts for our journey. That is all Alyssa! We’ve all been growing tired of eating stale bread and tasteless soup recently, I thought I’d forage something a little more satisfying!’

Alyssa didn’t require the proof of Lucien’s story as it rested right in front of her eyes. The anger and pain she felt prior subsided quickly. She believed him, and she felt deeply relieved he hadn’t in-fact betrayed her. Yet this did nothing to dampen her confusion. Where was the gem?

‘Lucien, this is important. Cyprian believes you took the gem whilst he slept. And I admit, I thought it too. When he discovers your trail he will undoubtedly come looking for you, and when he finds you there’s no telling what he’ll do. I have never seen him so angry. Do you have any idea how the gem went missing?’

‘No, I don’t. He showed it to me last night, but that’s the last I saw of it I swear! He’s not going to believe I didn’t take it is he? This is surreal! How could the gem have just disappeared over night unless somebody else was there?’

Alyssa’s thoughts turned towards Darius, but even a man as persistent as he wouldn’t dare show his ugly face after the beating he took back in Nazrael, especially having lost an arm in the process. But if it wasn’t Darius who stole the gem then who was it?

Lucien disrupted her thoughts. ‘You have to protest my innocence to your uncle, its-’

‘That man is not my uncle,’ Alyssa interjected coldly.

‘Okay, you have to tell Cyprian it wasn’t me who took the gem, it’s the only way. He will listen to you I know it!’

Alyssa flirted with this idea for a moment, and decided it was all they could do in this situation. She would make Cyprian listen. ‘Okay, but let me do the talking. Let’s go now.’

Lucien nodded, and off they went back towards the camp, unaware that the real thief had remained there the entire time. It was only as they drew near did they hear Cyprian bellow out in pain. Alyssa, though displaying an icy attitude towards the mention of him as her uncle, was the first to pick up her heels, followed closely by Lucien.

IV

Cyprian had been foolish. Once again he’d placed instant distrust in the wrong person, and had been proven wrong yet again. Lucien never took the gem, that part had now been illustrated clearly. It wasn’t the boy cradling it with gaunt, slime saturated arms, smothering its mirror-shined surface with a sagging pot-belly that looked very much like a limp egg-sac, nor was it the boy whose long and pointy beak-like nose was pressed into it in deep slumber. Its back was so bony the creature’s spine and adjoining ribs shaped its skin with a grotesque detail, and was arched around the treasure in such a fashion it formed a perfectly proportioned half-circle. The creature’s skin was a slime-glossed grey, with snot-green stripes across its disproportioned torso, and down its arms and legs. Small, razor-thin talons decorated its fingertips. No, whatever this creature was it sure wasn’t Lucien. Who could’ve blamed him for making such assumptions though? How was he to know this wretched creature, as small as it was – Cyprian guessed the beings height to be a foot, though the way its back bent around the gem he couldn’t be certain – had been bold enough to creep into their camp as they slept, sneakily removing the gem from his bag, and lugging it all the way back to the bush under which it dozed so peacefully now? Cyprian moved in closer and grimaced. It smelt like dung.

Well, whatever this thing was, he didn’t want it anywhere near something as important as the gem. He edged closer still, his senses overwhelmed with the stench. What a vile smelling creature! It smelt as if it had just crawled its way out of a wolf’s rear end!

It occurred to Cyprian that if he had not seen the flicker of light from the gems surface caught from the sun, he might have caught up with Lucien by now, and blindly set upon him. He wanted to kill him. How would he have felt having slain the innocent lad only to return to the camp to discover the real thief snoozing just a few yards to the south of the camp? It didn’t bare thinking about.

Closer still he went, until he was but an heirs-breadth away from the creature, the pong punching wildly at his nasal-passages. He wondered if he should kill it there and then he was so offended by the smell, but there was no honour – not to mention need – to snuff the life of something so small and insignificant. He might have added hapless but those talons looked as though they could shred the skin from a cow with minimal effort. Still, upon evaluation, Cyprian saw no real threat in the situation. He’d just reach down and take the gem-

In a flash the creature woke, wailing like a cat being strangled, and slashed at Cyprian’s outstretched hand. He yelped in pain, and immediately saw skin hanging in shreds from his index finger. Through the river of red he saw the white sheen of his bone.

The vermin!

Clenching his teeth through the agony, he smote the whining creature with his sword, decapitating it with ease. For a few moments the creature’s legs kicked out as if the headless wretch was attempting to run, but gradually they slowed to a twitch, and then perfect stillness.

Alyssa came bolting out of the woodland, followed closely by Lucien. To spare any unnecessary conversations, he simply gestured towards the gem lying at his feet, splattered in blood.

‘What in Gaia’s name is that?’ Alyssa said as she halted next to Cyprian, still catching her breath. She caught sight of his wound. ‘You’re hurt,’ she said, her tone that of distant concern, like she didn’t wish him to know she still cared. Or what’s more, she didn’t wish herself to know she still cared. He didn’t blame her.

‘It’s nothing, just a scratch,’ he replied. This was an understatement, one clearly read by each one of them.

‘Wow, I can see the bone,’ Lucien marvelled, as if it was something to be proud of.

Alyssa pulled her lips back over her teeth as if she felt the pain also. ‘Look, let me bandage it for you, I think I have something in my bag.’

‘It’ll be fine.’

He took a hold of his sleeve and ripped a strip of fabric from it, and wrapped it tightly around the gushing wound.

‘Fine,’ Alyssa said. ‘Let’s just pack up and get a move on. How far away from Celestria’s realm are we?’

‘A few days I think.’

‘Good, let’s get this over and done with.’ She turned quickly on her heels and walked to the camp where Cyprian watched her gathering her belongings, quickly followed by Lucien. He then bent down to collect the gem, taking care to wipe the surface clean on a nearby patch of grass. He had made a decision in that moment, one that was inevitable. He would need to entrust upon the boy the very gem he held now. Being an Empath had its benefits, mainly being able to trust his newly made decision. One of the downfalls it seems is seeing your own demise in your clouded future. He didn’t know who, where, or when but he knew the what. Soon, his time on Gaia, and his time in this saga, would end.
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PostSubject: Reply   May 31st 2009, 10:28 am

II

Short. If this is all that you had to say, you truthfully should not have bothered. I know that the modern belief is that the readers have very short attention spans, but considering the size of books (ex. Harry Potter) that are being bought this cannot be true. You also should not treat your readers as simpletons. Find some purpose, some clear reason, for switching to this PoV. As it stands, this can be handled later with a simple, "Yeah, I stopped cursing and decided to follow the tracks after you, but I was surprised to see ..."

and with a snarl he unsheathed his sword, and went
Double 'and,' which is redundant. Either choose another conjunction, or (the better choice), break up the sentences.

III

Sorry, but I don't believe the story. Of course, I haven't been reading this from the beginning, but it still stinks of a cover story. If the characters believe the kid capable of stealing, I STILL believe that he is capable of stealing. If Alyssa came out believing Cyprian, I now consider her simply gullible for believing whoever she is around.

IV

WHAT? Cyprian has been ranting and raving and this creature has been sleeping? Plus, when last seen, he was following after Alyssa - so how did he see this creature (she didn't). No, I do not buy the 'flicker of light' statement, as he had turned away from camp. Finally, why in the hell did the creature not run away (as in, far away)?

heirs-breadth HAIRBREADTH

Cyprian deserved getting his hand torn. It makes the stealing of the gem simply a plot point towards how Cyprian hurt his hand (for what later plot point, I don't know). The creature is not given any indication of rationale, of awareness (how did know to go to that pouch on that character to get that gem), or even of existence (what is its place in the ecology). This really bothers me, as I just watched a movie last night where characters did stupid things simply to 'rationalize' how certain plot devices could occur. I am sorry, but even if Cyprian did manage to take back the gem, what would make him think that the creature would not simply follow him and take it back? I lecture children on this point all the time with "What did you think would happen?" They often look at me with amazement when I show them that what they considered life being unfair to really be life being VERY predictable. Cyprian is no child, and that creature surely has a place in the world beyond this short scene, so these events should not have happened.

Soon, his time on Gaia, and his time in this saga, would end.
Oops, broke a rule, you show yourself as the author. Take out that 'and his time in this saga' phrase. That is not something the character would think.

FINAL STATEMENT

This whole scene seems very unnecessary. It is cute, but has no more worth than being a cute situation. I would work on giving your scenes more value. Don't belittle your writing with poor motivation and simplistic plot devices. Just as a billion dollar movie can fail because they only spend $19.95 on a script, a wonderfully written story can fail because the author does not take the time to ponder what their characters are truly feeling and experiencing.

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Fantasy puts more requirements on the writer than any other fiction, because the world must be made as real before anything else can be real.
Adult Christian fiction quite different than all the usual lame stuff in that market.  "Dilemma of Dreams" now in hard back.
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PostSubject: Re: How am I doing Terisha?   May 31st 2009, 10:41 am

Well, I'll give you a summery of the chapters prior, which I probably should have done before posting it lol

Cyprian has never liked Lucien, in fact he's hated him since they met. But, it was nothing Lucien had done, he was simply from a race Cyprian detests. Over time, Lucien kept proving Cyprian wrong, and helping Alyssa through some scrapes, and become a friend to her. So, Cyprian decides to hold out an olive branch, and the chapter prior to this was a lengthy exchange between the two, Cyprian explaining in detail why he isn't a big fan of his race. Then, he shows Lucien the gem during the night, and as Alyssa was asleep, the PoV was Lucien, and he suspected him showing the treasure was a test of trust, because Lucien was in-fact a thief where he came from, though that was an effect of the side of the city he came from, the poor town. Well, at the end of the chapter, I had Lucien thinking about actually stealing the gem, and he was very conflicted over it. Then, I made another sub chapter and had the PoV from a thief, though I never mentioned any names, I was hoping the reader would assume Lucien was the thief in question.

So, they woke, discovered the gem gone, and Lucien gone as well. Naturally, Cyprian knowing he was a thief, accused him. Alyssa, though a bond had been made, didn't want to believe it but the evidence spoke for itself.

I hope this clears something up Very Happy

Everything as always will be taken into revision though Smile
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